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Police launch new ‘999Haters’ service to combat trolls


Now that over 50% of UK policing is focused on social media complaints, senior officers are set to invest in a first response system to combat internet ‘meanness’, aggressive emoticons … Continue reading

July 25, 2014 · Leave a comment

Shock as Sun on Sunday turns out to be as shoddy as News of the World


Pop star Tulisa Contostavlos’s trial over drugs allegations has collapsed due to evidence being tainted by ‘proximity to News Corporation’. In a landmark equality ruling, the Sun on Sunday (SoS) … Continue reading

July 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

The return of Cats and Evita bring back memories of the Blitz


Thousands of Londoners have been filmed leaving the capital in fear for their Musical sanity, as rumours surface that Andrew Lloyd Webber intends to carpet bomb the West End with ‘theatrical … Continue reading

July 23, 2014 · Leave a comment

Hague cunningly quits as Foreign Secretary just before World War 3


As passenger airlines are shot down, the Middle-East descends into even greater chaos and American Idol enters its 13th season – all the portents are shaping up nicely for a … Continue reading

July 22, 2014 · 2 Comments

The Daily Mail joins the long list of Clooney rejects


Following in the petite footsteps of Lisa Snowden, the Mail Online has been forced to accept that the ‘grey fox’ will never hold them in his big strong arms. Despite … Continue reading

July 21, 2014 · 2 Comments

Caption Competition: ‘Ukrainian rebels’ stolen missiles more capable than originally thought’


‘Ukrainian rebels’ stolen missiles more capable than originally thought’  (from Al OPecia)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 19th July 2014 RUNNERS UP ‘Buzz Aldrin had mastered washing … Continue reading

July 20, 2014 · 6 Comments

Gaza just needs better Health & Safety provision


While many have tried to end decades of conflict in the Palestinian occupied territories, there is a growing feeling in the international community that the only way to achieve regional … Continue reading

July 18, 2014 · Leave a comment

Dublin narrowly escapes Garth Brooks’ concert


In what is being described as a ‘near death experience’ (NDE), the people of Ireland have fortuitously avoided coming into contact with an over-sized Stetson, painful guitar twangs and an … Continue reading

July 17, 2014 · Leave a comment

David Cameron to replace entire Cabinet with female Bishops


In an attempt to distance his government from a ‘stuffy’ male image, the Prime Minister is taking the bold move to capitalize on the sudden popularity of ‘lady clerics’. At … Continue reading

July 16, 2014 · 2 Comments

China and South Korea agree to have North Korea ‘sectioned’


The key topic for discussion over the next two days in Seoul is how to send an entire nation to the ‘booby hatch’. According to Beijing, under the Mental Health … Continue reading

July 15, 2014 · Leave a comment

Economic recovery complete – all rich are now tax exempt


Chancellor George Osborne was proud to announce that after three years of careful fiscal mismanagement, corruption and cronyism the number of UK citizens paying the top rate of income tax … Continue reading

July 14, 2014 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘The big clean up gets under way following The World Masturbating Championships in London’s St James Park’


‘The big clean up gets under way following The World Masturbating Championships in London’s St James Park’ (from Sozsatire)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 8th July 2014 … Continue reading

July 13, 2014 · 4 Comments

Woman refuses to give birth in Primark


Despite a small head erupting from her vagina, a woman from Birmingham resolutely refused to be lulled by the Primark’s promise of cut-price designer wear. As her waters broke,cervix dilated … Continue reading

July 11, 2014 · Leave a comment

Thatcher’s cabinet torn between abusing Miners or Minors


As more evidence emerges, or mysteriously/conveniently ends up as landfill, it is becoming increasingly plausible that successive 1980’s governments turned a blind eye to accusations of abuse. Burly members of … Continue reading

July 10, 2014 · Leave a comment

‘We’ll always have the bikini wax’ – says a resolute Brazil


Last night the streets of Rio were lined with shell-shocked football fans, discarded yellow shirts and, as the year ended in 14, predictably rampant Germans. As a nation grieved and … Continue reading

July 9, 2014 · Leave a comment

Georgia & Moldova sign agreement to be the next two countries invaded by Russia


By binding themselves economically and politically with the European Union and the Ukraine (- or ‘Greater Russia’ as it is soon to be called), both eastern European nations have elected … Continue reading

July 8, 2014 · 4 Comments

Dinner parties to be targeted by pepper spray drones


The South Africa-based arms manufacturer, Desert Wolf, has secured sales to a mining company wishing to ‘stamp out’ illicit middle-class soirees and those who overstep the international boundaries of dinner … Continue reading

July 7, 2014 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘The latest from Ikea or not, my good chap, I must insist that my wife have a cushion!’


‘The latest from Ikea or not, my good chap, I must insist that my wife have a cushion!’ (from Pierian Dodo)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: … Continue reading

July 6, 2014 · 1 Comment

Britain not sure if it wants to be more or less ‘rapey’


The Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP), Alison Saunders, is hoping to dispel the ‘myth’ that insufficient evidence should ever dissuade the police or courts from pursuing newspaper headlines with meaningless … Continue reading

July 4, 2014 · Leave a comment

Your herpes enjoyed Glastonbury almost as much as you did


Be it the wonderment that is Dolly Parton lip-syncing, the joy of trench foot or the wind in your hair as you defecated in a field; no Glastonbury memory is … Continue reading

July 3, 2014 · Leave a comment

ISA declares a Fundamentalist Retail Investment Arrangement


Hot on the heels of the success of ISIS rebels in establishing an Islamic state amid the broken remains of Syria and Northern Iraq, the jihadist wing of the Individual … Continue reading

July 2, 2014 · 1 Comment

Hyperbolists celebrate as Refugee Crisis proves ‘we are as bad as the Nazis’


Godwin’s Rule of Nazi Analogies has finally been debunked by the concerted efforts of the global community to once and for all ‘screw over the weak and dispossessed’. With the … Continue reading

July 1, 2014 · Leave a comment

Uruguay: ‘Suarez gives hope to anyone suffering from hypoglycemia’


In a bold statement, seen as response to the four month ban imposed by FIFA on the masticating-prone striker, the Uruguay Football Association have claimed that Luis Suarez’s biting incidents … Continue reading

June 30, 2014 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Man raffles child to to raise funds for World Cup Final Ticket.


‘Man raffles child to to raise funds for World Cup Final Ticket’ (by Al OPecia)  This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 29th June 2014 RUNNERS UP ‘Nymar celebrates his … Continue reading

June 29, 2014 · 1 Comment

Republicans claim gay worker protection will only extend to ‘the hot ones’


Barack Obama has been criticised by right wing opponents that his recent gay rights legislation will infringe on free-markets; but they have been absolutely clear that this judgement in no … Continue reading

June 27, 2014 · Leave a comment

‘Saddam Hussein is hiding in my shed’ confesses Tony Blair


In response to the press backlash over his assertion that he had no direct link with the recent troubles in the Middle East, the former UK Prime Minister has revealed … Continue reading

June 26, 2014 · Leave a comment

Brooks to recreate Houdini’s routine


By popular demand, editor Rebekah Brooks will be visiting local theatres to amaze the public with her death-defying illusions, borderline perjury and concealed ‘get out of jail free’ card. With … Continue reading

June 25, 2014 · Leave a comment

Tesco’s burger blamed for fall in police dog and horse numbers


Animal welfare groups are concerned that government spending cuts may have resulted in an ‘outsourcing’ of police animal units to the fast food sector. During the last year we have … Continue reading

June 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

Three-way conception an elaborate pocket-money scam


Undercover reporters have discovered that the government’s backing for three-person IVF is no more than ‘an elaborate front’ for a fraudulent attempt on the part of children to gain access … Continue reading

June 23, 2014 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: “He’s my up-grade …”


WINNER: “He’s my ‘up-grade’ …” (from R Wood)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 21st June 2014 RUNNERS UP “Hands in the air if you’ve ever stuck your … Continue reading

June 22, 2014 · 4 Comments

Jihadists not as focused on the World Cup as they should be‏


Set against the backdrop of Kenyan massacres and Iraqi insurgency, FIFA is concerned that Islamist militants may not be giving Brazil 2014 their full attention. Despite wall-to-wall TV coverage, there … Continue reading

June 20, 2014 · Leave a comment

Michael Gove’s face evolved to ‘get slapped’‏


While current theories in ‘hominin evolution’ suggest beefy facial features were a defence against fist fights; biologists also believe early man needed to ‘pulverise’ purposely annoying cavemen in order to … Continue reading

June 19, 2014 · Leave a comment

IMF warns UK housing bubble is giving gaseous globules ‘a bad name’


Chancellor George Osborne has been cautioned that his long term economic strategy has all the sustainability of a mayfly winning the X factor while boiling an egg. The International Monetary … Continue reading

June 18, 2014 · Leave a comment

Metropolitan Police invest in three giant ‘Boris Johnson enemas’


Although the Home Secretary is yet to approve their use, London has purchased a trio of water cannons designed to relive the capital of unpleasant faecal impaction – or in … Continue reading

June 17, 2014 · Leave a comment

Tony Blair suggests orphaned Iraqis send him a Father’s Day mug


In a desperate attempt to plagiarize his favourite Billy Joel song, the ex-Prime Minister of the UK informed the world’s press: ‘We didn’t cause the Iraq crisis…it was always burning … Continue reading

June 16, 2014 · 2 Comments

Caption Competition: ‘New Tory MP fails to notice giant anagram behind him’


New Tory MP fails to notice giant anagram behind him (by Al OPecia)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 14th June 2014 RUNNERS UP: The new MP couldn’t … Continue reading

June 15, 2014 · 4 Comments

1D-Day commemorates the death of music


Veterans, historians and ‘girls with retainers’ were united in marking a day of remembrance for ‘our boys’ struggle to overcome ‘lack-lustre hair’, no musical ability and the Nazi occupation of … Continue reading

June 13, 2014 · Leave a comment

Sepp Blatter’s resignation rumours prompt half a million Iraqis to flee their homes


Terror gripped the streets of Mosul as word spread that the President of the ‘Fédération Internationale de Football Association’ (FIFA), or the ‘Quatari Savings and Loan Company’ as it is … Continue reading

June 12, 2014 · 4 Comments

Apple to launch its new integrated app – Bolloxdrop


In an attempt to challenge Dropbox and WhatsApp, the computing multinational will now offer their own online storage solution for all your embarrassing online mishaps. Every ‘clanger’, shameful selfie and … Continue reading

June 11, 2014 · Leave a comment

Flibbertigibbet says ‘Thank you to our Readers’


Having just racked up Flib’s 400th post since its launch (just over a year ago), we’d like to take this opportunity to thank all our readers/twitters/subscribers who have provided much … Continue reading

June 10, 2014 · 3 Comments

Bush/Blair sex tape to be leaked


An agreement has been made between a Government inquiry, Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood and Electric Blue (the soft core porn show), to release the infamous footage of the British … Continue reading

June 9, 2014 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Elizabethan ruff makes a come back – but is it too heavy?’


‘Elizabethan ruff makes a come back – but is it too heavy?’ (from MassFrack77) This month’s photo come courtesy of: BBC.com DATE: 7th June 2014 RUNNERS UP ‘Wife takes farewell … Continue reading

June 8, 2014 · Leave a comment

Last known Lib Dem dies in captivity


Zoo keepers, veterinarians and ‘sandal-wearing libertarians’ were left mourning the loss of the world’s last remaining ‘Greater-spectacled Oakeshott’. The ‘Oakeshott’ had been cared for in the House of Lords’ wildlife … Continue reading

June 6, 2014 · Leave a comment

Google self-drive car will allow hands-free racism for Top Gear


To packed conference in California, Google co-founder, Sergey Brin revealed plans to manufacture a vehicle that will allow BBC presenters to focus less on steering and more on ‘pejorative terms … Continue reading

June 5, 2014 · Leave a comment

70s BBC not my fault, says grateful Pope


As Pope Francis embarks on his ‘World Tour of Apology’, it is becoming abundantly clear that ‘Mea Culpa is more like ‘Tua Culpa’; with his own motto ‘Miserando atque Eligendo’ … Continue reading

June 4, 2014 · Leave a comment

Richard Scudamore challenges all women to an arm-wrestle


With what is being seen as a vain attempt to garner support for his derogatory references to ‘female irrationality’, the Premier League’s chief executive has promised to prove his gender’s … Continue reading

June 3, 2014 · 3 Comments

The Queen to be replaced by Alan Bennett by 2017


The Government have unveiled plans to slowly ‘decommission’ Elizabeth II and install the much loved playwright as our new Monarch. While she was officially retired from active service on 27 … Continue reading

June 2, 2014 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Mallet’s Mallett is more distinguished with age’


‘Mallet’s Mallett is more distinguished with age’ (from AddledMadge)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: BBC.com DATE: 31 May 2014 RUNNERS UP ‘Whack a mole Tudor style!’ (from PullsOffDaisy) … Continue reading

June 1, 2014 · Leave a comment

Kate Middleton ‘smells of cabbage’


Former News of the World (NoW) editors justified their hacking of the now-Duchess of Cambridge’s voicemail, by uncovering the scandalous way in which celebrities purport to be ‘Mary Poppins-perfect’. Solely … Continue reading

May 30, 2014 · Leave a comment

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