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Silvio Berlusconi promises to ‘give your Nonna a good seeing to’


Italian homes for the elderly will soon be visited by the ‘creosote crooner’, otherwise known as ‘Ol’ Gropey’ by his adoring under-age fans and tax accountants. The former Prime Minister … Continue reading

April 16, 2014 · Leave a comment

The Verve accused of peddling inadequate flu-remedy


The songwriter Richard Ashcroft and his band have come under close scrutiny with regards their connection between 90s rock music and the UK stockpiling £473m of Tamiflu in 2006. The … Continue reading

April 15, 2014 · Leave a comment

Damien Hirst’s autobiography will be ‘ironically’ full of spelling errors


To the equal delight of the art world and the frustration of most rationale print lovers, the notorious Turner Prize winner proposes to ‘redefine’ what we a perceive to be … Continue reading

April 14, 2014 · Leave a comment

Flibbertigibbet Caption Competition: Casting for The Wind in the Willows suffers a setback


Casting for The Wind in the Willows suffers a setback (from Blissangel)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: BBC.com DATE: 12th April 2014 RUNNERS UP: UB40s prophecy comes to fruition … Continue reading

April 13, 2014 · Leave a comment

Auto-industry admits ‘only the unicycle’ is safe


In a year that has seen General Motors (GM) recall 2.6m cars and Toyota 6.4m, there is a growing appreciation that the car is a glorified ‘casket on wheels’. Manufacturers … Continue reading

April 11, 2014 · Leave a comment

MPs now only embarrassed by the ‘sound of pooing’


After decades of embezzlement, corruption and ‘world-class douchebaggery’, the House of Commons has managed to eliminate shame in all but extreme circumstances. While Culture Secretary Maria Miller had to be … Continue reading

April 10, 2014 · 4 Comments

Glasgow to be ‘nuked’ during Commonwealth Closing Ceremony


A global audience, set to be in the millions, will witness a lavish TV spectacle combining mediocre athletics, the smugness of Alex Salmond and a ‘much needed’ nuclear deterrent. Glasgow … Continue reading

April 9, 2014 · Leave a comment

US troops now required to kill more US troops than the Taliban


While the Pentagon has heralded their newly themed ‘zero-fatalities-in-Afghanistan’ month, Servicemen in Texas have had to resort to murder-suicide to maintain an acceptable ratio of causalities to ‘bullets used’. The … Continue reading

April 8, 2014 · Leave a comment

Ebola bookies favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent


The odds of a non-UK resident winning Series 8 of the ever popular talent show has dramatically shortened, with the late entry of an outbreak of virulent hemorrhagic fever from … Continue reading

April 7, 2014 · Leave a comment

Flibbertigibbet Caption Competition: ‘If I wasn’t a footballer it would of been ping pong balls’


‘If I wasn’t a footballer it would of been ping pong balls’ (from Yourface)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 5th April 2014 RUNNERS UP: “Eeeew…and I … Continue reading

April 6, 2014 · 1 Comment

Japan to revert from hunting whales to hunting humans


In a move that has been welcomed by water-based mammals but less so by land-based Chinese, Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has confirmed that Japan will move its focus from the … Continue reading

April 4, 2014 · Leave a comment

Farage & Clegg ‘bloviation cloud’ covers much of England


Noise pollution levels across parts of southern Britain are expected to reach a toxic level when the Leader of UKIP and the Deputy Prime Minister take to the airwaves on … Continue reading

April 3, 2014 · Leave a comment

Putin attempts to impregnate Crimea


Despite promises to ‘pull out’ at the right moment, NATO observers have concluded that the Russian President has no intention of ‘interrupting’ his military coitus. Having entered the Ukraine ‘without … Continue reading

April 2, 2014 · 2 Comments

Bitcoins to be replaced with Lego


As the MtGox Exchange files for bankruptcy, virtual investors have been frantically looking for an alternative currency that could provide the twin qualities of stability and an ever present threat … Continue reading

April 1, 2014 · Leave a comment

New law to block online Porn disappointingly becomes the most downloaded law


What was intended as a bold move to stop the torrent of graphic images that reach our children may have inadvertently ‘fanned the flames’ of our desire for illicit material. … Continue reading

March 31, 2014 · Leave a comment

Flibbertigibbet Caption Competition: ‘The new unisex toilet arrangements at Number 10 were showing signs of failure’


The new unisex toilet arrangements at Number 10 were showing signs of failure (from Al OPecia)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 29th March 2014 RUNNERS UP ‘Danny … Continue reading

March 30, 2014 · 1 Comment

Teachers stage strike over Martin/Paltrow split


As another celebrity marriage ‘bites the dust’, hundreds of schools were disrupted by industrial action this Wednesday. While the erosion of working conditions and pay may have demoralized educationalists, it … Continue reading

March 28, 2014 · 2 Comments

Justice Minister restricts the use of crayon by Coalition Ministers


Following his successful implementation of a ban on prison inmates receiving books, Chris Grayling is hoping to extend the scheme to ‘once for all’ eradicate logical thought in Cabinet meetings. … Continue reading

March 27, 2014 · Leave a comment

Kenya’s new polygamy law is ‘Amaze Balls!’


While most of the world struggles with preserving the sanctity of marriage against the rigors of divorce, Reality TV and sharing a duvet; Kenyan men have made a conscious decision … Continue reading

March 26, 2014 · Leave a comment

Andre Marrine sentences 528 Egyptians to death


Following on from the debacle of sending off the wrong player in Chelsea’s 6-0 drubbing of Arsenal, this much maligned Premiership referee has cracked down on 1,200 supporters of the … Continue reading

March 25, 2014 · Leave a comment

Kate Bush Tour forces all other female singers into early retirement


Through a combination of George Osborne’s generous pension provision in his budget and the surprise tour of the UK’s ‘last spark of originality’, many of the world’s leading musicians plan … Continue reading

March 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

Flibbertigibbet Caption Competition: “….and then I said ‘you can keep your stinking fish eggs, so there’…”


“….and then I said ‘you can keep your stinking fish eggs, so there’…” (from Al OPecia) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 22nd Mrach 2014 RUNNERS UP: “Neither of … Continue reading

March 23, 2014 · 1 Comment

Obituaries accused of left-wing bias


Following a plethora of socialist bereavements, newspapers have been accused of eulogizing ‘tree huggers’, ‘Marxists’ and ‘people who wear socks with sandals’. To offset the appearance of bias, media outlets … Continue reading

March 21, 2014 · 2 Comments

Middle class snobs insist – ‘Cats should be cooked in an Aga’


Pretentious cooks throughout the land were united today in their condemnation of Laura Cunliffe, who microwaved a cat in revenge for eating her pet goldfish. While fourteen weeks of imprisonment … Continue reading

March 20, 2014 · Leave a comment

Isle of Wight couple report: Still no sign of ‘missing’ luggage


While the eyes of the world are turned towards finding Malaysia Airlines flight MH370, tension continues to mount for Mr & Mrs Nichols; who despite being in the second week … Continue reading

March 19, 2014 · Leave a comment

Boatload of ‘creepy PE teachers’ bound for Asia


As part of an elaborate exchange program to raise international teaching standards, Shanghai has agreed to import sixty of the UK’s finest educational perverts in exchange for sending us their … Continue reading

March 18, 2014 · Leave a comment

A nation remembers WW1 Glove-Puppeteers


While English professors and people who mourn the loss of pipe-smoking focus their attention on the poets of 1914-18, some contemporary historians feel more should be done to commemorate the … Continue reading

March 17, 2014 · Leave a comment

Flibbertigibbet Caption Competition: ‘New “Subterranean” obstacle in Grand National sparks controversy’


New “Subterranean” obstacle in Grand National sparks controversy (from Al OPecia) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 15th March 2014 The annual village game of Buckaroo took an unexpected … Continue reading

March 16, 2014 · 3 Comments

New Zealand to place Peter Jackson on new national flag


As a referendum approaches, a majority of New Zealanders have expressed a preference for removing the Union Jack from the corner of their flag and replacing it with ‘something involving … Continue reading

March 14, 2014 · Leave a comment

Gamers excited by launch of ‘Zombie Mexican Drug Lord’


As part of a clever marketing campaign, EA Games have arranged for Michoacan police to gun down one of the ‘walking dead’ and part-time notorious criminal, ‘El Mas Loco’. Despite … Continue reading

March 13, 2014 · Leave a comment

Lindsey Lohan may sue Hollywood over her career


As Mark Johnston plans to sue a Las Vegas casino for allowing him to gamble $500,000 ‘while drunk’, the US Supreme Court is bracing itself for a myriad of civil … Continue reading

March 12, 2014 · Leave a comment

Men on diets demand to know when the potato ‘stopped being’ a vegetable


Frustrated males shamed into embracing a healthy regime have been outraged to discover that starchy, tuberous crops are not the route to a six-pack, female approval and eternal life as … Continue reading

March 11, 2014 · Leave a comment

Pistorius enforced a ‘shoot to kill’ policy for toilet lid infringements


Having claimed to have ‘mistaken’ his ex-girlfriend for a burglar and fatally wounding her, Oscar Pistorius’ defence team elaborated on his firmly held views on bathroom etiquette. What was initially … Continue reading

March 10, 2014 · 1 Comment

Flibbertigibbet Caption Competition: ‘Hollywood A-Listers in pensive mood as news breaks of Piers Morgan’s debilitating illness.’


‘Hollywood A-Listers in pensive mood as news breaks of Piers Morgan’s debilitating illness’ (from Sozsatire) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 8th MArch 2014 RUNNERS UP ‘Ukrainian crisis … Continue reading

March 9, 2014 · 6 Comments

Russian invasion would infringe US/UK copyright


Prime Minister David Cameron has sent a stark warning to the Russian ambassador to London, saying that any military intervention in the Ukraine would be in serious breach of international … Continue reading

March 7, 2014 · Leave a comment

Gove threatens teachers with genital mutilation


Intimidation by the Secretary of State for Education was ratcheted up this week, with the promise of graphic images of sexual disfigurement being sent to schools. One teacher reported having … Continue reading

March 6, 2014 · Leave a comment

Russia tries to secure Ukraine’s Eurovision vote


The Kremlin’s substantial military might is now focused on ‘gerrymandering’ the prestigious, ‘pan-sexual’ music competition by coercing other nations who have consistently qualified for Eurovision. Top of their list for … Continue reading

March 5, 2014 · Leave a comment

Alan Pardew ‘not covered’ by Northern Ireland amnesty


While IRA fugitives and British soldiers may be granted immunity to prosecution for past crimes, most agree that the villainous Pardew should be ‘made an example of’. Decades of sectarian … Continue reading

March 4, 2014 · Leave a comment

Radio 1 to downgrade DJs from ‘perverts to crooks’


In what is being seen as another cost-cutting measure by the BBC, their flagship radio station has been forced to curtail expensive ‘extra-curricular activities’ by their presenters and offer more … Continue reading

March 3, 2014 · Leave a comment

Flibbertigibbet Caption Competition: Press melee at arrest of Militant Wing of Benetton.


‘Press melee at arrest of Militant Wing of Benetton’ (from Al OPecia) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.co.uk DATE: 1st March 2014 RUNNERS UP ‘BREAKING: 2014 release of latest terrorist … Continue reading

March 2, 2014 · 4 Comments

‘Simply NHS’ to be launched


Under the watchful eye of former Marks & Spencer boss, Sir Stuart Rose, the National Health Service is to offer a range of ‘everyday food products’ and ‘must-have kitchen ingredients’ … Continue reading

February 28, 2014 · Leave a comment

Rebekah Brooks successfully uses the ‘I knew Tony Blair’ defence


Just when schadenfreude, infidelity and ginger-karma appeared to have caught up with Mrs Brooks, fate and the High Court have stepped in to clear her of one of five counts … Continue reading

February 27, 2014 · Leave a comment

Birth of ‘rare’ West African giraffe excites Danish lions


While a Cumbria Zoo has been celebrating the arrival of an animal normally only seen in the wilds of Niger, predators in Copenhagen have been hard pressed to restrain their … Continue reading

February 26, 2014 · Leave a comment

Ducks reject currency union with Alex Salmond


Subsequent to the majority of England being submerged in 3ft of water, our Duck Overlords have made it clear that they will not be sharing the pound with an independent … Continue reading

February 25, 2014 · Leave a comment

Ukraine Power Vacuum to be replaced by Dyson


Opposition MPs were celebrating this week as they voted overwhelming to replace President Viktor Yanukovych with an upright model; which offers ‘transparency’, ‘cleanness’ and ‘something less fiddly’. Also, unlike Ukrainian … Continue reading

February 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

Flibbertigibbet Caption Competition: Daft Punk finally ‘get lucky’ in Canadian national team sled


‘Daft Punk finally ‘get lucky’ in Canadian national team sled’ (from Sean Smithson) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 22nd Feb 2014 RUNNERS UP ‘International Olympic Committee to launch … Continue reading

February 23, 2014 · 5 Comments

World Cup Mascots close to extinction


As the Brazilian Government agrees to fund the conservation of their three-banded armadillo, Fuleco, environmentalists have warned that previous mascots may have already died out. Evidence has emerged that World … Continue reading

February 21, 2014 · Leave a comment

Environment Agency begs athletes to stop ‘coming out’


As further storms are expected to hit the UK, paranoid homophobes of all political persuasions are launching a concerted campaign to stop the ‘flood of sexual liberation’. Aerial footage along … Continue reading

February 20, 2014 · Leave a comment

Woody Allen denies molesting Flappy Bird


In a bizarre twist, the addictive mobile App developed by Dong Nguyen has been withdrawn from sale amidst accusations by Mia Farrow that the Oscar winning director ‘tapped up’ her … Continue reading

February 19, 2014 · Leave a comment

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