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Tony Pulis to take over management of Zimbabwe


Despite parting company with West Bromwich Albion, Tony Pulis is expected to take over at fellow strugglers, Zimbabwe, to help them avoid being relegated to the Third World – or … Continue reading

November 22, 2017 · Leave a comment

Kensington Tories rate the Titanic disaster a ‘B minus’


Having asked residents to tastefully score the Grenfell Tower tragedy ‘out of ten’, town councillors have proposed to rate Harold Shipman on Check-a-Trade and the Holocaust on Trip Advisor.  Undeterred … Continue reading

November 21, 2017 · Leave a comment

Closing Sky News ‘less a threat, more a dare’


Sky’s threat to close its news division, if it impedes Fox’s takeover, has been greeted with a modicum of indifference and widespread hope.  For many, the absence of Sky News … Continue reading

November 20, 2017 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: David Davis decides to pursue Brexit through the medium of dance.


WINNER: David Davis decides to pursue Brexit through the medium of dance. (from Al O’Pecia) RUNNERS UP Harvey Weinstein repellent makeup (from SauceSally6) Brexit meets Braveheart (from MasterOfNone) Until they … Continue reading

November 19, 2017 · 1 Comment

Surgeons could save time by not washing their hands


Up to two hours of surgery time could be saved per day by cutting out unnecessary luxuries, such as surgical scrubs, sharpened instruments and using an anaesthetic.  A study by … Continue reading

November 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Man City owe success to ‘rush goalie’


Pep Guardiola has admitted that this season’s success is down to a series of playground tactics including jumpers for goalposts, a 0-1-1-15 formation and, all importantly, having the keeper run … Continue reading

November 15, 2017 · Leave a comment

UK used ‘jobseeker’s allowance’ to fund Mossad


Following the revelation that the outgoing the International Development Secretary attempted to subsidize the Israeli army with Foreign Aid, it transpires that Priti Patel also tried to claim Cold Weather Payments … Continue reading

November 14, 2017 · Leave a comment

UK interest rate raised to ‘mildly curious’


The Bank of England is considering injecting some enthusiasm into being British, with a 0.25% increase in engaging anecdotes and witty comments. Economists fear a stagnation in the nation’s ability … Continue reading

November 13, 2017 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Harvey Weinstein strikes again’


WINNER: ‘Harvey Weinstein strikes again’ (from SaltoftheSouth) RUNNERS UP By gum, that were a close shave! (from Inchcock) ‘All of a sudden Boris Johnson exploded’ (from ZippLass1) ‘Brexit’ (from DaveW89) … Continue reading

November 12, 2017 · 1 Comment

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