Guest speaker finally realises Prezi is ‘a bit sh$t’
At precisely 3 p.m. today, Hazeema Chandio (32) reached a moment of epiphany; that instead of an organized set of slides, she had created a jazz-fusion mood-board that would make … Continue reading
Lex Luthor in favour of ‘Man of Steel’ tariff
One particular business magnate and philanthropist has spoken of his support for President Trump imposing a 25% tariff on squeaky-clean superheroes. On Twitter Mr. Trump welcomed the endorsement of a … Continue reading
National Trust to take over the NHS
With a projected shortfall of £50bn by 2030, Theresa May has taken the decision to designate the NHS as a ‘grade-2 listed’ institution, in need of some ‘significant crowd-funding’. As … Continue reading
Caption Competition: Mourinho instantly regrets Bale transfer
Winner: Mourinho instantly regrets Bale transfer (from YogaPantz) RUNNERS UP No you idiot, when I said “We should play Giant Haystacks in goal.” I meant the wrestler. (from Bryntin) Ah, … Continue reading
1 in 5 UK mammals at risk from Hard Brexit
The Mammal Society and Natural England study has revealed as many as 12 species may be facing a Hard Brexit – or ‘extinction’ as its technically known. It is likely … Continue reading
UKIP to advise Greens on how to pick a new leader
With five new leaders in the last fortnight, UKIP are well placed to offer advice on how to run a rigorous selection process, followed by a ‘bun fight’. Although poltically … Continue reading
One in 25 children ‘too fat to go in goal’
Severe obesity is leading to a national shortage of suitable kids to pick last for activities, meaning other minority groups have moved down the pecking order; including children with squints, … Continue reading
School advertising campaign just a kid and a Bunsen burner
Despite squandering tens of thousands of pounds on an elaborate poster campaign, a local school has struggled to come up with anything more inspiring than the image of a kid … Continue reading
Caption Competition: Muscle memory kicks in was schoolboy cries “Heil Hitler” outside St George’s Chapel
WINNER: Muscle memory kicks in was schoolboy cries “Heil Hitler” outside St George’s Chapel. (from Adrian Bamforth) RUNNERS UP: “Now for the vote. By show of hands do we assassinate the … Continue reading
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