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Slavery rise is a tribute to zero-hour contracts


The Home Office has hailed a fivefold increase in reported cases of slavery, as a triumph in deregulation and free-market douchebaggery.  With the Prime Minister promising to defeat modern slavery … Continue reading

August 31, 2016 · Leave a comment

UK offers free porn warnings 100% – guaranteed!


Eighty percent of sexually-frustrated men attest to being addicted to cautions about porn.  While easy access to online titillation has led to a steep rise in the seedy world of … Continue reading

August 30, 2016 · Leave a comment

Olympic end coincides with UK erectile dysfunction


As Rio 2016 draws to a close, athletics fans will now have to resort to other methods for increasing blood flow.  Self-esteem and ‘todgers’ are due to sag, as the … Continue reading

August 29, 2016 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘I thought this chair was reserved, which is why I chose to sit in the corridor’. #traingate


WINNER: ‘I thought this chair was reserved, which is why I chose to sit in the corridor’. (from Simon Kew) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 20th August … Continue reading

August 27, 2016 · Leave a comment

Duke’s family loses council tenancy


Grieving relatives of the late Duke of Westminster were frustrated to discover that his humble ‘two up two hundred down’ terrace house may revert back to the local county council … Continue reading

August 25, 2016 · Leave a comment

Brexit to coincide with porcine aviation


Theresa May has promised a swift EU exit based on a rapid timetable of animal flight, hens developing teeth or when hell freezes over – whichever comes sooner.  She rejected … Continue reading

August 24, 2016 · Leave a comment

Jools Holland to host the Night Tube


London Underground will begin running a late night anarchic pop show on its Victoria and Central lines, in response to the high level of commuter demand for a 24/7 showcase … Continue reading

August 23, 2016 · Leave a comment

US swimmers claim Rio is a ‘wretched hive of scum and villainy’


The venue for the 2016 Olympics has replaced Mos Eisley Spaceport as the place you are most likely to get kidnapped and wake up a sex-slave in Jabba’s palace.  Even … Continue reading

August 22, 2016 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Olympic Fellatio, has some issues to iron out before it becomes a mainstream sport


WINNER:  Olympic Fellatio, has some issues to iron out before it becomes a mainstream sport (from nathanjchapman)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 20th August 2016 RUNNERS … Continue reading

August 21, 2016 · 4 Comments

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