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Caption Competition: iPrison

WINNER:  ‘iPrison’ (from Daylightsaver) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 29th August 2015 RUNNERS UP: ‘Chain link fencing is the only way to stop your iPhone screen breaking’ … Continue reading

August 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

George continues to photo bomb press playground snaps

In an open letter to the Royal Family, the world’s collective paparazzi have demanded that the Royal Prince stop ruining their attempts to photograph London’s landscapes. The camera obsessed child … Continue reading

August 27, 2015 · Leave a comment

José Mourinho in favour of NHS waiting lists

Under-funded hospitals are normally a concern, but the Chelsea and Westminster has received a surprise endorsement from one specific Portuguese health tourist. Far from wanting his players to be treated … Continue reading

August 26, 2015 · Leave a comment

Donald Trump – the new safe word

The real-estate magnate and Presidential-hopeful, has emerged as the GOP’s frontrunner to become America’s new codeword for crossing emotional and moral boundaries. Organized BDSM groups will be using the phrase … Continue reading

August 25, 2015 · Leave a comment

Google purchases the Alphabet

In what has being described as the biggest business take-over of ‘letters representing phonemes’, Google is set to acquire ownership of three thousand years of written civilization. Any language based … Continue reading

August 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Shock that Labour might elect a socialist’

WINNER: ‘Shock that Labour might elect a socialist’ (from Hinchfield12)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 22nd August 2015 RUNNERS UP ‘Ashes ruined by halitosis outbreak’ (from … Continue reading

August 23, 2015 · 2 Comments

SAS no longer require Higher Maths paper

Entry requirements for the UK’s covert reconnaissance squad are to be ‘softened’ due to recent fatalities and concern that Scottish exams are getting too hard. The ‘dumbed down’ selection process … Continue reading

August 20, 2015 · Leave a comment

Racing anecdote used to anaesthetise Jenson Button

Ruthless burglars may have employed F1 stories and Eddie Jordan quips to reduce Mr & Mrs Button to catatonia. Police confirm that the couple were discovered in a drowsy state … Continue reading

August 19, 2015 · Leave a comment

Taxpayers to pay the emotional cost of supporting West Ham

Having cunningly negotiated a reduced rental cost for the Olympic Stadium, the long-suffering ‘Hammers’ are expecting other football fans to proportionately share the ‘anguish of their mediocrity’. Each taxpayer will … Continue reading

August 18, 2015 · Leave a comment

MPs more ‘horny’ than Rock Stars

With Prime Ministers and Lords now being implicated in historical, contemporary and all future imagined forms of sexual perversion, The Rolling Stones may be forced to retire. Unable to compete … Continue reading

August 17, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Princes Trust? Let’s see how long you can trust this little fella!’

WINNER: ‘Princes Trust? Let’s see how long you can trust this little fella!’ (from BSH Comedy) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 15th August 2015 RUNNERS UP: ‘Camilla … Continue reading

August 16, 2015 · 2 Comments

Nation forgets its P.E. kit

Sports Minister Tracey Crouch received an unexpected letter from the UK’s ‘Mum’, asking if everyone could be excused from all forms of physical activity due to an ‘indiscriminate lower back … Continue reading

August 13, 2015 · Leave a comment

Son of Zeus confesses to lion killing

Amid the controversy surrounding the killing of ‘Cecil’ the lion, the focus has now switched from a US poacher with a dental license, to ‘some naked dude’ without a hunting … Continue reading

August 12, 2015 · Leave a comment

Sharks get a sexual thrill from being punched

In the wake of a second swimmer this month having to strike a shark, evidence is emerging that large fish with cartilaginous skeletons may be getting a taste for ‘Aussie … Continue reading

August 11, 2015 · Leave a comment

Channel Tunnel NOT a gateway to Narnia

The Ministry of Defence has been forced to release a blanket denial that Calais’ entrance to the UK is the portal to a fantasy kingdom of bounteous social benefits. Sadly … Continue reading

August 10, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘But Jeremy, you’re always saying you hate America. I’m just asking that because isn’t Amazon…. Ssshhhhhh!’

WINNER:  ‘But Jeremy, you’re always saying you hate America. I’m just asking that because isn’t Amazon….Ssshhhhhh!’ (from OhthisbloodyPC)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 8th August 2015 … Continue reading

August 9, 2015 · 3 Comments

Windows releases an update for Amstrad’s CPC 464

In response to customer feedback, the much vaunted launch of Windows 10 is going to be superseded with an operating platform that is reliable, easy to navigate and can play … Continue reading

August 6, 2015 · Leave a comment

Turkish buffer to be replaced by turkey buffet

Having been criticised with their indiscriminate bombing of Kurdish forces, the Turkish military is to redirect their efforts against IS with a ‘devastatingly unpleasant’ all-you-can-eat offer. Assisted by the US, … Continue reading

August 5, 2015 · Leave a comment

Salmond: ‘Second Bannockburn inevitable’

In his usual measured, non-inflammatory manner the ex-leader of the Scottish National Party has insisted he will soon retake Stirling Castle and shove a red hot poker ‘up the arse’ … Continue reading

August 4, 2015 · Leave a comment

NRA: ‘Guns don’t kill people, movies do’

Although many in the state of Louisiana are struggling to come to terms with another cinema massacre, scientists for the National Rifle Association have at last discovered a clear correlation … Continue reading

August 3, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘And on my right…everyone else’

WINNER: ‘And on my right…everyone else’ (from Dorfuz6) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 1st August 2015 RUNNER UP: ‘All those who can sing the Red Flag please … Continue reading

August 2, 2015 · Leave a comment

Bill Cosby more ‘threatening’ than your average Sommelier

Despite rigorous denials of any wrong-doing, lawyers for Mr. Cosby have been forced to concede that he invariably mixed red wine with fish, over-poured champagne and mistook Rohypnol for a … Continue reading

July 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

Alan Sugar ‘intake’ should be halved

Scientists have recommended cutting our media exposure to millionaires with their own reality TV show and love affair with an under-performing football team. Advisers on nutrition say that by exceeding … Continue reading

July 29, 2015 · Leave a comment

‘Crazy discounts’ blamed for shortage of ‘mental beds’

With up to 60% off and 4 years interest free credit, the ‘insanity’ that is home furnishing flash-sales has led to a lack adult psychiatric health provision. One excitable marketing … Continue reading

July 28, 2015 · Leave a comment

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