People now eating Leggings
The Office for National Statistics’ (ONS) annual review of basket of goods, reveal that the British public are consuming significantly more high chairs, moisturizer and cameras. Chief among these new … Continue reading
‘Shit-shaming’ map accidentally spots Theresa May
‘Doodoowatch’, an interactive website that locates unwanted dog excrement, has inadvertently become targeting software for members of the cabinet. Security services have become concerned that the Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson, … Continue reading
Caption Competition: The Fat Controller laughed you’re all going to die.
WINNER: The Fat Controller laughed you’re all going to die.(from MartF) RUNNERS UP: A lack of graffiti on their trains I notice. I wonder why? (from Inchcock) “I tried to … Continue reading
May launches terrorist apprenticeships
Using illegal military strikes in Syria, Theresa May’s new ‘terrorist apprenticeship scheme’ has got off to a real bang! With the modest investment of several hundred million pounds in bombs, … Continue reading
Straw polls bad for the environment
While the UK considers banning 8,500,000,000 plastic straws a year, many feel that we should also stop asking for referendums 8,500,000,000 times a year. It seems that every time British … Continue reading
Over-enthusiastic ‘dab’ goes all Nazi
Party-goers were thrown into turmoil when Paul Azikiwe, 29, attempted an overly ambitious hand-gesture which degenerated in a celebration of fascism, faster than a Daily Mail editorial. Subsequently, this has … Continue reading
Syrian boy completes Panini ‘album of bombs’
Lucky Karam Mansour (12) has had the good fortune to have been bombed with every form of ballistics and by every conceivable nation. This has allowed him to finish his … Continue reading
Caption Competition: If ever there was a time to find out if ‘a slap in the face with a wet fish’ was as bad as they say…
WINNER: ‘If ever there was a time to find out if ‘a slap in the face with a wet fish’ was as bad as they say…’ (from Bear R Humphreys) … Continue reading
DAY ONE: Barcelona still without a win
Fans of FC Barcelona have been left reeling and without a win for more than six hours. Suicide hotlines have been overwhelmed with fans struggling to deal without constant oxytocin, … Continue reading
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