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The Truth about Goats

‘Remember us?’ says the Taliban

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, or in this case ‘a bicameral national legislature, comprising of two chambers’, it turns out it’s not. … Continue reading

July 2, 2015 · Leave a comment

‘This Gap Year sucks’, says 60 million refugees

As the number of people displaced by war and persecution reaches a record level, many of those forced to flee have questioned the wisdom of taking a break from their … Continue reading

July 1, 2015 · Leave a comment

Chris Evans ‘can’t wait’ to be a little bit racist

The BBC has announced that Mr. Evans will be the latest recipient of TV’s ‘carte blanche’ – the freedom to offend with impunity. At an unveiling ceremony the TV and … Continue reading

June 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

Chuck Blazer sick of being asked to finish ‘Game of Thrones’‏

Despite battling with colon cancer and corruption charges, the ex-FIFA executive’s greatest regret is being mistaken for every other rotund, beard-wearer. Subsequently Mr. Blazer, 70, has struck a deal with … Continue reading

June 29, 2015 · 2 Comments

Caption Competition: ‘Disappointingly, things haven’t been the same since Magna Carta’

WINNER:  ‘Disappointingly, things haven’t been the same since Magna Carta’ (from straightsteve)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 27th June 2015 RUNNERS UP: ‘Politely waiting for his … Continue reading

June 28, 2015 · Leave a comment

Jeremy Corbyn enters Labour race in an alternate Universe

Obviously in the real world no such left-winger could survive on an oxygen-rich planet, where water and Daily Mail bile cover 70% of the Earth’s surface. However, scientists have speculated … Continue reading

June 25, 2015 · Leave a comment

Public shocked by the wrong word in: ‘Young suicide bomber’

Thanks to a shortening of our attention spans, the majority of UK citizens only feel a heightened sense moral outrage for the beginnings of sentences but drift into apathy in … Continue reading

June 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

NAACP last recruited an African-American in 1964

Rachel Dolezal attempted to defuse the controversy related to her ethnic identity, by releasing membership data that suggests the civil rights group had solely been comprised of ‘white guys in … Continue reading

June 23, 2015 · Leave a comment

Government favours unqualified stab victims

The Department for Education has questioned the profitability of using teachers as student ‘pin cushions’, when Academies and unqualified staff can offer much better value for money. As West Yorkshire … Continue reading

June 22, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption: ‘Who’s got two thumbs and all austerity I need? This guy.’

WINNER:  ‘Who’s got two thumbs and all austerity I need? This guy.’ (from Horgness) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 20th June 2015 RUNNERS UP ‘Cameron refuses to … Continue reading

June 21, 2015 · 3 Comments

Chancellor lists RBS on eBay

George Osborne has taken the surprise step of selling the Government’s 80% share in Britain’s biggest corporate loss-making machine. The Royal Bank of Scotland has been listed as a ‘job … Continue reading

June 18, 2015 · Leave a comment

Malaysia claims ‘ball-sack’ caused earthquake

Four nudists are to appear in a Sabah State Court, accused of using ‘unfettered dangly bits’ and inciting mountain spirits into causing a deadly quake. Posing nude atop of Mount … Continue reading

June 17, 2015 · Leave a comment

God impregnates fish

A virginal sawfish, from Florida, has become the most recent example of immaculate conception since the Almighty’s ‘barely legal’ fumblings with a 14 year old from Bethlehem. Why God has … Continue reading

June 16, 2015 · 1 Comment

Tate Modern stages retrospective of Clip Art

Renowned as one the twentieth century’s most influential artists, Claus Von Clip is being honoured with a four week exhibition of his pixelated bitmaps. The London gallery will be presenting … Continue reading

June 15, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Winging his way to extra time…’

WINNER: ‘Winging his way to extra time…’ (from Inchcock)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 13th June 2015 RUNNERS UP ‘Blatter finally understands the offside rule’ (from … Continue reading

June 14, 2015 · 2 Comments

Kate Moss fails to disguise herself as hand luggage

The supermodel and infamous supporter of Columbian farming, has been escorted off an EasyJet plane, having been caught imitating a Burberry bag. With a waif-like physique, Mrs Moss managed to … Continue reading

June 11, 2015 · Leave a comment

Cameron returns from Euro-break with a dose of the clap‏

A sheepish Prime Minister has returned to Downing Street, from his EU ‘whistle-stop’ tour, with what can only be described as a bad case of sunstroke and a ‘mysterious rash’. … Continue reading

June 10, 2015 · Leave a comment

Blatter escapes disguised as the Von Trapps‏

Taking inspiration from the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, the outgoing FIFA president has fled over the Swiss mountains dressed as a Bavarian singing troupe. Resplendent in pig tails and lederhosen, … Continue reading

June 9, 2015 · 5 Comments

Nicky Morgan to spend £1/2m to teach students ‘The hairs on her dickey-di-do’

The Department for Education has announced funding to instil school children with the core values of rugby; which include ‘lighting your own farts’, dispensing concussion and ‘downing’ dubious hangover remedies. … Continue reading

June 8, 2015 · 2 Comments

Caption Competition: ‘Ha, ha, World, just kidding! We still have the 2nd Amendment!’

WINNER: ‘Ha, ha, World, just kidding! We still have the 2nd Amendment!’ (from Karen Nehilla) RUNNERS UP ‘Charlie’s Angel’s to become more inclusive’ (from HorvitzCJ) ‘Screw you,Rush Limbaugh! Who says there … Continue reading

June 7, 2015 · 4 Comments

Londoners take to the streets in support of Galloway‏

Not since VE Day have so many people swarmed the capital, to welcome a new era of Galloway self-aggrandisement. Responding to the pleas of orphans and the hopes of a … Continue reading

June 4, 2015 · Leave a comment

Blair solves Middle East problems by quitting‏

Palestinians and Israelis set aside their differences to celebrate the departure of the UK’s ‘grin reaper’. United in optimism, warring tribes and diametrically opposed faiths took to the streets to … Continue reading

June 3, 2015 · Leave a comment

FIFA awards FBI investigation to the Mafia

In a surprise turn of events, the world’s football governing body has revealed that the Cosa Nostra has been chosen to host the 2016 corruption probe – by a unanimous … Continue reading

June 2, 2015 · Leave a comment

Home-brewed morphine to replace Saturday Night TV

Scientist have at last discovered an alternative to watching ‘Ninja Warrior UK’, which will provide the same medicinal relief from our ‘mind-numbing existence’. Traditional home remedies for ennui have focused … Continue reading

June 1, 2015 · Leave a comment

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