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‘Everyone’s a winner!’ – Award ceremonies to be more inclusive


In attempt to combat accusations of cultural, ethnic or skill bias; the Oscars are planning to award prizes to ‘every person with a selfie-stick’.  The short-list for Best Actor 2016 … Continue reading

February 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

Trump tells Fox: ‘I am your father‏’


In a surprise plot twist the Republican front-runner has revealed a symbiotic relationship with the news corporation; shortly before chopping off Megyn Kelly’s hand and ‘throwing her down an abyss’.  … Continue reading

February 8, 2016 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Allegations of cheating as the World Spectacle Case Balancing Championship gets underway.’


WINNER: ‘Allegations of cheating as the World Spectacle Case Balancing Championship gets underway.’ (from Al O’Pecia) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 6th Feb 2016 RUNNERS UP: ‘David … Continue reading

February 7, 2016 · 1 Comment

Nobody’s going to fantasize about Jerry Hall now, boasts Murdoch


Anyone who once carried a flame for the Texan socialite, is now facing the unpleasant prospect of a liver-spotted antipodean toad leering into view.  Not content with listening in to … Continue reading

February 4, 2016 · 3 Comments

Mein Kampf to be re-published with ‘alternate ending’


Fans of Hitler and the Harry Potter franchise will be pleased to hear that everyone’s favourite political manifesto is to be given a judicious edit in time for the Christmas … Continue reading

February 3, 2016 · Leave a comment

Scotland flooded to lower alcohol limits


Ministers have taken the bold move to release flood waters throughout northern parts of the UK to water down the intoxication of ‘the natives’.   At an average 46% proof, experts … Continue reading

February 2, 2016 · 1 Comment

Ministers to be able to ‘wear jeans’ during EU vote


In the spirit of open government and the ‘last day of term’, the Prime Minister has decided to allow his Cabinet a free vote on any EU referendum and the … Continue reading

February 1, 2016 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Quentin decided that peyote evenings at the Conservative Club were going to be a standing item’


WINNER:  ‘Quentin decided that peyote evenings at the Conservative Club were going to be a standing item’ (from MBBlissett) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 30th Jan 2016 RUNNERS … Continue reading

January 31, 2016 · 5 Comments

Three little pigs commissioned to build 13,000 new homes


The Prime Minister has taken the unprecedented decision to be guided by fairy tales from the land-of-make-believe or his ‘big society’ as he calls it. Drawing on the construction acumen … Continue reading

January 28, 2016 · Leave a comment

The artist ‘formerly known as Prince’ sent cabinet papers


Much to the surprise of the US multi-instrumentalist and his management team, Prince has been inundated with top secret memos and requests to ‘Do me baby’ from the Secretary for … Continue reading

January 27, 2016 · Leave a comment

‘We should apologise to the banks,’ says FCA.


The Financial Conduct Authority has shelved its banking inquiry in favour of telling consumers to ‘buck up their ideas and stop whining like a little girl’.  Rather than challenge the … Continue reading

January 26, 2016 · Leave a comment

Robert Downey Jr pardoned for 20-years of bland movies


Civil rights campaigners and film critics alike were last night celebrating the expunging of Mr. Downey Jr’s dubious cinematic CV.   No longer will it have reference to the pig’s ear … Continue reading

January 25, 2016 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘That is the best dog ever!’ ‘You reckon? I just thought it was a blatant rehash of the original dog’.


  WINNER:  Stormtrooper 1: That is the best dog ever! Stormtrooper 2: You reckon? I just thought it was a blatant rehash of the original dog. (from NathanChapman) This month’s … Continue reading

January 23, 2016 · 3 Comments

Bowie dies in Cameron protest


Inspired by ‘The Squeeze’ mocking the Prime Minister on the ‘Andrew Marr Show’, the 70’s pop legend has decided to stage the ‘ultimate snub’ by exiting this mortal coil while … Continue reading

January 21, 2016 · Leave a comment

UK to remove New Zealand from maps


In response to the proposed referendum on a new state flag, all mention of ‘one particularly ungrateful island’ in the southwestern Pacific Ocean is to be expunged from British textbooks.  … Continue reading

January 20, 2016 · 2 Comments

Syrian receives death threat from Hilary Benn‏


Tarek Ahmadi (34) has written to the Speaker of the House of Commons complaining about the 66 threatening votes he and his family had received from Labour MPs. In an … Continue reading

January 19, 2016 · Leave a comment

How to get that Han Solo look – 10 easy steps‏


Ever wondered why Mr. Solo looks like an extra from ‘The Walking Dead’? In fact, our beauty experts are often asked – how can I get skin like a walnut?  … Continue reading

January 18, 2016 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘….and when the Fantasia music stopped here I was here’.


WINNER: ‘….and when the Fantasia music stopped here I was here’. (from ZZRMark) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 16th Jan 2016 RUNNERS UP ‘Flanders and Swann Theme … Continue reading

January 17, 2016 · 3 Comments

I.S. still in a ‘grump’ over lousy Christmas


Welcoming in the New Year with their customary bonhomie, the so-called Islamic State have broadcast a message to the world of goodwill and summary execution.  Many military analysts have concluded … Continue reading

January 14, 2016 · Leave a comment

World agrees to lower 2 degrees of Kevin Bacon


An historic accord was reached in Paris, with the world’s leaders pledging to save a global film trivia challenge, which had threatened to lose ‘all credibility’ as a serious drinking … Continue reading

January 13, 2016 · Leave a comment

Tim Peake is worse than Jar Jar Binks


Ardent Star Wars fans have declared themselves disappointed with the latest edition to the George Lucas franchise; with none predicting that it would be a bland film about a UK … Continue reading

January 12, 2016 · Leave a comment

Ofsted identify failing Jedi schools


Fans of ‘The Force Awakens’ were disappointed to discover that a top Gove Academy has been forced into special measures.  With the same alarming predictability of a US High School, … Continue reading

January 11, 2016 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Now, if you could just float me by M&S…I’m down to my last walnut whip.’


WINNER: ‘Now, if you could just float me by M&S…I’m down to my last walnut whip.’ (from SimonKew) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 9th Jan 2016 RUNNERS … Continue reading

January 10, 2016 · 4 Comments

Japan launches scientific whaling programme to see if they are ‘tasty’


In a triumph of hunger and sophistry, Japanese scientists have cunningly resumed killing whales to determine if they should be killing whales.  As research outcomes go this is particularly satisfying, … Continue reading

January 7, 2016 · 2 Comments

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