Austerity is over – just not for anyone you know
The Prime Minister has announced that everyone in the UK is now a millionaire, with their own unicorn and that any perception that everything is still ‘sh$t’ is simply the … Continue reading
University graduation to be modelled on Logan’s Run
Damian Hinds has laid out his vision for the schooling system, which will culminate in all graduates being vaporized to avoid the disappointment of low-wage gig-economy. Anyone over 21 will … Continue reading
GUIDE: How to fill that Royal Wedding void?
Understandably the entire UK is at loss for what to do, now that the Royal Wedding is over, all the cake has been sold on EBay and every forelock has … Continue reading
Money goes for early hibernation
With interest rates rising and sphincter’s tightening, the UK’s wealth has decided to retreat to the nearest nesting box or Swiss bank account. Meanwhile, those currencies who can, have flown … Continue reading
Caption Competition: In an unusual display of easily verifiable 100% accuracy, Donald Trump showed exactly how long his tie was.
WINNER: In an unusual display of easily verifiable 100% accuracy, Donald Trump showed exactly how long his tie was. (from Brytin) RUNNERS UP Trump: “See? Her dress is too long, … Continue reading
May to play fiddle at Brexit Festival
Said to be a celebration of a world beyond EU and the inevitable ‘rise of the rat’, the 2022 Brexit Festival will have something for everyone – except financial security. … Continue reading
Popes to be elected using Vape
In a week where E-Cig manufacturers pressure MP’s to extend vaping laws , the Vatican has confirmed that they will be employing a Benedictine Monk with a ‘sixty a day … Continue reading
‘Weight Watchers’ sinister rebrand – Just ‘Watchers’
The dieting company has decided to ditch ‘weight’ from their name, in order to corner the market in slim-line voyeurs and svelte stalkers. A spokeswoman explained: ‘We’ve struggled with the … Continue reading
May to cut low-skilled workers – starting with her Cabinet
In a bold policy shift, the Prime Minister has said she will clamp down on anyone with a foreign-sounding name acquiring a low-skilled job – which sadly, has the Home … Continue reading
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