UK seizes tanker because ‘big boys made me’
Gibraltar law enforcement agencies have detained an Iranian oil tanker, on the strict instructions of ‘a group of sixth formers’ with leather jackets. Pressure was put on the British behind … Continue reading
Tommy Robinson struggling to find asylum in a country without ‘foreigners’
The renowned crypto-fascist and most common search for the phrase ‘whatever happened to Baldrick?’, has put out a plea for political asylum. Unfortunately most of the world is decidedly un-Englishy … Continue reading
Caption Competition: The Nasty Party? MP consoles panic-stricken gala attendee
WINNER: The Nasty Party? MP consoles panic-stricken gala attendee. (from @Sadhusahab) RUNNERS UP Calm down, dear – it’s only a commercial. (from @caedmonscat) ‘I’m so sorry, I thought you were … Continue reading
Pentagon border wall to have ‘frickin lasers!’
By bypassing Congress, President Trump can now fund his wall with military spending, aided by blueprints left over from the Transformers’ movie. Civilian walls are restricted to bricks and mortar, … Continue reading
Everyone a racist now, except actual racists
Thanks to social media and white-guilt, it turns out everyone is a closet bigot or at the very least, a ‘wardrobe Danny Baker’. Unfortunately, the side-effect is that we now … Continue reading
Emmeline Pankhurst to star as Jess Phillips, in biopic of Jess Phillips
The BBC have announced that they a making a TV series about Britain’s most important female political figure; documenting her struggles to learn lacrosse at Grammar School and having a … Continue reading
Coal rebranded as ‘Liberty Nuggets’
Having renamed gas exports as ‘molecules of freedom’, the US energy department has taken the unusual step of calling carbon emissions ‘God’s breath’, global warming is described as ‘frost redemption’ … Continue reading
Caption Competition: ‘I’d swallow anything of yours Sir..’
WINNER: ‘I’d swallow anything of yours Sir..’ (From Bear. R Humphreys) RUNNERS UP ‘Don’t look at the wig, don’t look at the wig…’ (from LancetBoy) Donald Trump – the ultimate … Continue reading
Footage shows Brexit MEPs spin around and do jazz hands
The controversy over MEPs turning their backs during the EU’s anthem, has be defused by a surprise quick turn, followed by Anne Widdecombe wearing a fez and an accompanying … Continue reading
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