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The Truth about Goats

Family actually prefer my armchair Olympic commentaries, says Dad


A man has claimed that his wife and three children actually prefer the expert analysis that he is delivering throughout the Olympics, compared to the official BBC commentaries provided by … Continue reading

July 30, 2021 · Leave a comment

Chocolate bars aren’t smaller, we’re just fatter


Manufacturers have dismissed claims that confectionery favourites have shrunk, explaining that anything would look small in our ‘big fat, sausage fingers’. The Office for National Statistics concluded that 2,500 products … Continue reading

July 30, 2021 · Leave a comment

Welsh pile of rubble better looking than Liverpool. More soon


http://dlvr.it/S4jHP0

July 30, 2021 · Leave a comment

Bags of wall sealer washed up on beach just ‘the size of Whales’. More soon


http://dlvr.it/S4jHM4

July 30, 2021 · Leave a comment

Coldplay acquisition of Mr. Whippy in meltdown


Sources in the City of London have indicated the multi-million pound takeover of ice-cream purveyors Mr. Whippy by dinner-party pop princes Coldplay, is in full meltdown. After responsibly ending touring … Continue reading

July 30, 2021 · Leave a comment

British public completely baffled over what exactly JPN stands for


‘We haven’t a clue’, said Pauline Tennant, a 43-year-old grandmother from Romford. ‘We were up all night but couldn’t work it out. The nearest we could get was Jalapeno pepper, … Continue reading

July 29, 2021 · Leave a comment

Public raise government threat level to “Omni-cluster-shambles-fuck”. More soon


http://dlvr.it/S4dgF0

July 29, 2021 · Leave a comment

Vaccine sceptic refuses to accept that he is dead. More later


http://dlvr.it/S4dg59

July 29, 2021 · Leave a comment

Government to target victims of violent crime


Prime Minister Boris Johnson has promised to target victims of violent crime in an effort to make UK neighbourhoods a safer place to live.  The government has said that victims … Continue reading

July 29, 2021 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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