Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

People now eating Leggings


The Office for National Statistics’ (ONS) annual review of basket of goods, reveal that the British public are consuming significantly more high chairs, moisturizer and cameras.  Chief among these new … Continue reading

April 24, 2018 · Leave a comment

‘Shit-shaming’ map accidentally spots Theresa May


‘Doodoowatch’, an interactive website that locates unwanted dog excrement, has inadvertently become targeting software for members of the cabinet.  Security services have become concerned that the Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson, … Continue reading

April 23, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: The Fat Controller laughed you’re all going to die.


WINNER: The Fat Controller laughed you’re all going to die.(from MartF) RUNNERS UP: A lack of graffiti on their trains I notice. I wonder why? (from Inchcock) “I tried to … Continue reading

April 21, 2018 · 1 Comment

May launches terrorist apprenticeships


Using illegal military strikes in Syria, Theresa May’s new ‘terrorist apprenticeship scheme’ has got off to a real bang!  With the modest investment of several hundred million pounds in bombs, … Continue reading

April 19, 2018 · Leave a comment

Straw polls bad for the environment


While the UK considers banning 8,500,000,000 plastic straws a year, many feel that we should also stop asking for referendums 8,500,000,000 times a year.  It seems that every time British … Continue reading

April 18, 2018 · Leave a comment

Over-enthusiastic ‘dab’ goes all Nazi


Party-goers were thrown into turmoil when Paul Azikiwe, 29, attempted an overly ambitious hand-gesture which degenerated in a celebration of fascism, faster than a Daily Mail editorial.  Subsequently, this has … Continue reading

April 17, 2018 · Leave a comment

Syrian boy completes Panini ‘album of bombs’


Lucky Karam Mansour (12) has had the good fortune to have been bombed with every form of ballistics and by every conceivable nation.  This has allowed him to finish his … Continue reading

April 16, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: If ever there was a time to find out if ‘a slap in the face with a wet fish’ was as bad as they say…


WINNER: ‘If ever there was a time to find out if ‘a slap in the face with a wet fish’ was as bad as they say…’ (from Bear R Humphreys) … Continue reading

April 15, 2018 · 1 Comment

DAY ONE: Barcelona still without a win


Fans of FC Barcelona have been left reeling and without a win for more than six hours.  Suicide hotlines have been overwhelmed with fans struggling to deal without constant oxytocin, … Continue reading

April 12, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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