British car industry to be run by Mad Max
Years after the collapse of civilization and several hours after Brexit, a lone road-warrior is to be given the task of rebuilding the UK’s auto industry and fighting off marauding … Continue reading
Exploding tomato ruins everything
Adil Chaudhry (34) has had his life turned upside down and his shirt coated, by vegetable shrapnel. Tentatively pricking a cherry tomato with his fork, Mr Chaudhry unleashed a chain … Continue reading
Half as many plastic bags available for Brexit clean-up
Sadly sales of plastic bags in the UK have halved; which may be good news for turtles looking to lose weight but is bad news for those of us who … Continue reading
Boris to extend ‘Stop & Search’ to include Grouse
While some have questioned why 550,000 acres of land are damaged every year by grouse-hunting, the new Prime Minister insisted that additional police powers are required to tackle our lawless … Continue reading
Caption Competition: Johnson waits with friend for New Deal to turn up.
WINNER: Johnson waits with friend for New Deal to turn up. (From Al O’Pecia) RUNNERS UP PM Johnson is at at the very end of some very big, thick, red … Continue reading
Don’t worry about the Amazon rainforest – we have a spare
Concerns over the wilful destruction of the world’s main source of oxygen may be premature, as Rodell Clarke (43) has planted a new ‘Forest Pansy’ in his front garden. Measuring … Continue reading
Double whammy for the music world – Nicki Minaj retires & Mugabe dies
People around the world are in mourning, as one of the world’s most iconic authoritarian figures is gone. Also, Robert Mugabe is dead. Yet it is Mugabe whose musical legacy … Continue reading
‘Boris Johnson ate my Jack Russell’
Alarming footage has emerged of puppies being delivered straight to No.10, to a Prime Minister whose ‘unnatural appetites’ Parliament can no longer control. This was coupled with photographs, an hour … Continue reading
Tories withdraw whip from Duke of Wellington
Having taken the extraordinary steps to expel Winston Churchill’s grandson from the parliamentary party, Boris Johnson insisted he would clear out other Tory grandees; such Jeremy Clarkson, Leopold II of … Continue reading
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