Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Caption Competition: ‘Bloody pig threw up on me…’

WINNER: ‘Bloody pig threw up on me…’ (from Sydalg) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE:28th Nov 2015 RUNNERS UP ‘If size does matter than I assure you Boris’ is … Continue reading

November 29, 2015 · 3 Comments

The new Flibbertigibbet Annual goes sale: ‘Jedis still outnumber Nuns’

Jedis still outnumber Nuns FLIBBERTIGIBBET ANNUAL 2015 Welcome to the third compilation of Flibbertigibbet News.  I’m glad to say I’m over the difficult second album and now embarking upon a … Continue reading

November 27, 2015 · Leave a comment

Football League to be re-named ‘Amelia’

After consulting with 18,000 fans and a copy of ‘100 Top Baby Names’, the Football League has decided to align its brand with the most popular name of 2015. Other … Continue reading

November 26, 2015 · Leave a comment

Adele’s ex-boyfriend comes out of hiding

Bowed by public pressure and surrounded by bodyguards a Mr. Gary Stevens, of West Norwood, has revealed that he is to blame for Adele’s plaintive wailing and multi-million pound angst.  … Continue reading

November 25, 2015 · 2 Comments

Benjamin Netanyahu to sh@t through the Whitehouse’s letter box

Israel’s Prime Minister will be returning to Washington to re-assert his utter disdain for President Obama, through a series of tightly choreographed insults.  These diplomatic disses will include Mr.  Netanyahu … Continue reading

November 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Some thought rail electrification had gone too far …

WINNER: ‘Some thought rail electrification had gone too far …’ (from Al O’Pecia) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 21st Nov 2015 RUNNERS UP ‘Boris was now regretting make the tube … Continue reading

November 22, 2015 · 1 Comment

Scientists confirm laughing at James Corden is a ‘a sign of impending dementia’

The University College London has discovered a correlation between frontotemporal dementia and enjoying the self-congratulatory smirk worn by the host of ‘The Late Late Show’.  Even remotely finding James Corden … Continue reading

November 19, 2015 · Leave a comment

Anonymous enrols the Ku Klux Klan on Grindr

Having already shared the details of hundreds of alleged white supremacists, the hackers’ collective have now gone one step further to ensure that lonely racists can find the right love … Continue reading

November 18, 2015 · 3 Comments

Putin consults Wizzard over Ukraine crisis

Having agreed to meet Elton John to discuss gay rights, the Russian President has laid out a schedule to meet other ‘influential’ 70’s glam rockers to improve his international relations. … Continue reading

November 17, 2015 · 2 Comments

Theresa May admits ‘browsing history’ is code for porn stash‏

The Home Secretary has reassured the British public that their sordid secrets will not be subject to MI5 searches, Operation Yewtree or ‘withering looks’ from their spouses. By agreeing to … Continue reading

November 16, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘We mass manufacture your retro robots, bitch’

WINNER:’We mass manufacture your retro robots, bitch’ [very shallow bow] (from Stooky_Bill)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 14th Nov 2015 RUNNERS UP: ‘This is an automaton … Continue reading

November 15, 2015 · 2 Comments

 007’s car rendered useless by spilt milk

In a pivotal scene, during the twenty-forth ‘James Bond’ film, movie-goers will be treated to a high octane action sequence involving sour smelling dairy product.  Britain’s most inebriated spy, after … Continue reading

November 12, 2015 · Leave a comment

Tax credits cause cancer

In a surprise announcement by the Chancellor, the British public have been warned that suckling on the welfare teat is worse than ‘smoking processed meats’. George Osborne has defended his … Continue reading

November 11, 2015 · Leave a comment

Facebook taxed £1 for every sincere comment

Today HM Revenue & Customs (HRMC) defended their decision to levy £4,327 from Facebook in 2014, based on the social network giant’s contribution to the ‘sum of human kindness’.  HRMC … Continue reading

November 10, 2015 · Leave a comment

Alien megastructure maybe Heathrow’s third runway

In an attempt to increase aviation capacity while avoiding flightpaths near Tory homeowners, the UK Government has constructed an extra runway orbiting the star known as KIC 8462852. So voracious … Continue reading

November 9, 2015 · 2 Comments

Caption Competition: ‘Shall we dance? On a bright cloud of bungs shall we fly?’

WINNER: ‘Shall we dance? On a bright cloud of bungs shall we fly?’ (from Al O’Pecia) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 7th Nov 2015 RUNNERS UP ‘And on my … Continue reading

November 8, 2015 · 2 Comments

‘Sh@t’ still fails to make the list of new storms

While the British public in their infinite wisdom have selected inspirational weather monikers such as Nigel and Steve, more appropriate storm names are going unrequited. Unimaginative responses to the Met … Continue reading

November 5, 2015 · Leave a comment

Labour leadership not covered by 30-day refund

Despite the right to a refund becoming law, many Corbyn supporters have been disheartened to discover that they will have to stick with their original purchase; at least until the … Continue reading

November 4, 2015 · Leave a comment

More Grammar schools should lead to more Morlocks

Education Secretary Nicky Morgan is to confirm an expansion in selective schooling, in order to finally create a race of ‘troglodyte over-lords’. In a homage to H. G. Wells’ novel, … Continue reading

November 3, 2015 · Leave a comment

NPCC demands the ‘right weapons’ to be truly racist

In response to Home Office figures on tasering, the National Police Chiefs Council has declared that increased attacks on black suspects can only be maintained if officers are given the … Continue reading

November 2, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘I am now going to heal the lame…to get them of disability benefit’

WINNER:’I am now going to heal the lame…to get them of disability benefit’ (from Huggy555)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 31st Oct 2015 RUNNERS UP: ‘Wait … Continue reading

November 1, 2015 · 2 Comments

Benjamin Netanyahu claims Holocaust Denial is now kosher

Despite Germany re-affirming their role in the Final Solution, Israel’s Prime Minister has decided that Palestinians were to blame for the WW2 genocide. Although Palestine is a mere 1040 kilometres … Continue reading

October 29, 2015 · Leave a comment

Playing video games leads to lower GCSEs but more fun

The National Children’s Bureau for the ‘bleeding obvious’ has discovered that ‘d@$king around on the Xbox’ rather than doing your homework, might be a barrier to academic greatness.  By contrast … Continue reading

October 28, 2015 · Leave a comment

Catholics relax rules on re-marriage, providing relief for Henry VIII‏

Pope Francis has spoken of his intention to make annulments easier although, as yet, it is unclear if this relates to a change in his own marital status.  However the … Continue reading

October 27, 2015 · Leave a comment

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