The Truth about Goats
Pentagon Chiefs have expressed excitement about the prospect of a Drone version of The Solar Impulse plane. This follows extensive lobbying by the pressure group the Eco-NRA, whose motto is “Saving the environment for bombing”.
This cost saving measure, will appeal to environmentalists and arms manufacturers alike. The Solar Impulse’s new distance record was all part of a feasibility study commissioned by the U.S. Military. The plane’s wing and stabilizer are covered with nearly 12,000 solar cells and there are now plans to attach a range of bombs to the undercarriage.
The co-founders and pilots, Bertrand Piccard and Andre Borschberg were happy to confirm the new contract. A spokesmen read a prepared address: “We’ve long been looking to establish a synergy between renewable energy and blowing s**t up. The U.S. spends 20 times more on Defense then it spends on the Environment. You bet your sweet ass we want a slice of that pie!”
The Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (or “UAV”) has long been part of the U.S. arsenal. A military spokesmen explained the issues behind this new approach: “The New America Foundation estimate that the civilian fatality rate by UAV’s since 2004 is approximately 32%. That’s a lot of innocent people who prior to death had the added anxiety of knowing they were about to be hit. The great thing about the new Drone is that it is really, really quiet. Now weddings, nurseries, allied troops can all be obliterated without the victims suspecting a thing”.
Asked what the Pentagon’s next environmental initiative was to be, the spokesmen replied: “Biodegradable chemical weapons.”
(also featured on http://paper.li/urbankuest)