The Truth about Goats
In what some commentators see as a “final warning”, Turkey’s Prime Minister has issued a demand for the protesting Wombles to vacate the central park in Istanbul. So far plans to redevelop the green area into a shopping centre have been thwarted by the pointy-nosed, furry creatures and their environmentalist agenda.
The Wombles have fought a series of pitched battles with riot police, fashioning rudimentary weapons from “things that the everyday folks leave behind”. Accused of “looting” the protesters claim they are simply “making good use of bad rubbish”. The International community has already condemned the strong arm tactics of the police; which have included tear gas, water cannons and giant mouse-traps. In the meantime, Madame Cholet has been deployed by the French Red Cross, to try and negotiate a peaceful settlement and referendum between the two sides.
“Our patience is at an end. I am making my warning for the last time,” said Mr. Erdogan, gesturing to the network of burrows covering Gezi Park. Security forces claim aged “extremists” have been wombling over the Bulgarian border. These so-called “Great Uncle” figures have been agitating the usually docile, work-shy Orinocos. Reactionary forces in Pakistan are concerned that the civil unrest could spread to the giant snow-white Wombles of the Himalayas. Fortunately the UK has plans to extend their badger cull “underground, overground” to include Wimbledon Common and the aquatic Wombles of Loch Ness.