The Truth about Goats
Edward Snowden and various other high profile fugitives have been forced change their travel plans, as the Italian ex-PM’s underwear will no longer afford them diplomatic immunity. Long assumed to be above the law, Mr. Berlusconi’s genital region had seemed to be exempt from the judicial process or penal dysfunction. However, the recent sentencing linked to his sexual misconduct has tarnished his nether region.
Millions of Italians have been disappointed to discover the 76 yr. old had unimaginatively stored his horcrux, along with his fraudulent tax returns, in his trouser pocket. With a career that spanned two Neapolitan-themed CDs, a football anthem and numerous ‘Bunga-Bunga’ parties; there was always a nagging doubt that Mr. Berlusconi was “guilty” of something – but what?
One Mafia linchpin expressed his sense of disbelief: “I thought his pants were untouchable (unless you were a burlesque dancer). Why would an underage prostitute want to have sex with the 194th richest man in the world? It’s just not plausible. It’s like suggesting a media tycoon might have an ulterior motive for leaking a police wire-tap. It defies logic!”
Now, unfortunately, those with revoked passports will have to find some other place seek asylum. Mr. Berlusconi, himself, remains a free man while he appeals against the ruling but is said to be “distraught” at being treated like a “British Maths Teacher”. Both Cuprinol™ and Viagra™ have distanced themselves from the smarmy billionaire.
Globally there are very few places left to Edward Snowden that are beyond the reach of international law; but rumor has it he is hiding in either a Gitmo tribunal, Tony Blair’s War Cabinet or the BBC Light Entertainment Division.