Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

“Pope fails to give birth”


Tens of thousands of Brazilian pilgrims were left disappointed today, by the pontiff’s inability to produce a Royal Baby. Although Pope Francis promised to bring people to the “open arms of Christ the Redeemer”, there is a sense that the Duchess of Cambridge has “raised the bar” for world leaders. The Global Press has made it very clear that the first Latin American Pope cannot afford to be “too posh to push”.

Pope Francis met with media

Popes are capable of breeding with either gender (Photo credit: Catholic Church)

While the rest of the world is gripped by baby fever, the head of the Catholic Church has stubbornly refused “to take one for the team”. A reproducing Bishop of Rome could allow for more youthful Popes, an hereditary College of Cardinals and lucrative reality TV shows. Many priests have been valiantly trying for to get Altar Boys pregnant for generations, but Pope Francis has so far avoided opening his papal womb to the public. “The Vatican has been ‘dining-out’ on this one miracle birth for two thousand years,” criticized one reporter. “Whereas your Windsors, they’ve been popping out sprogs left, right and centre. Some of them even in wedlock!”

Crowds flooded to Rio de Janeiro, with mothers holding up babies as visual clues for Pope Francis or in some cases passing him bouquets of flowers in the hope of pollinating him. Later the Pope ironically visited Our Lady of the Conception, but completely failed to inseminate himself. Protestors began to line the streets as soon as it became known that his vestments were not concealing “a baby bump”. Police were forced to fire tear gas and said a homemade explosive device had been discovered at the shrine. One Cardinal commented: “We are in the wonderment business, so the miracle of childbirth should be something any Pope can do”.

by @Wrenfoe

Advertisements

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,610 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,088 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: