The Truth about Goats
The Department for International Development has admitted that it may have been an error to send buccaneer-themed aid to Somalia. ‘In retrospective it’s easy to say people would prefer food, tools or medicine,’ said a spokesman. ‘But 17,000 peg legs are a lot more fun’.
The DfID confirmed £480,000 worth of ‘pieces of eight’, ‘eye patches’ and ‘parrots with tourettes’ had been stolen by al-Shabab in November 2011. The spokesman explained: ‘Working in conflict-affected and fragile states carries inherent risk…and it probably didn’t help that we were expecting to see Johnny Depp doing his drunken, Tommy Cooper impression, not an armed militia’.
Concerns about overseas’ aid have not prevented Disney World from creating a swash-buckling ‘kidnap ride’. The Florida water-flume will have images of the Jolly Roger mixed with other contemporary pirating favourites – including downloaded MP3 files, HBO serials and illicit goat porn. Meanwhile, the International Association of Independent Tanker Owners has been frustrated by the UN’s failure to deal with piracy, but the UN admitted: ‘Maybe if we all stopped using the phrase ‘Pirate’ then perhaps we’d take the problem more seriously?’