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‘Syrian ‘red line’ looks a bit ‘orangey’’

Historians and even goldfish, have become somewhat puzzled by the U.S.’s memory loss and assertion that Syria is the first nation in ‘100 years’ to break the Geneva Convention’s ban on chemical warfare. One Vietnamese school teacher commented: ‘I would like to ignore the worst excesses of the Second Indochina War such as Rambo, Oliver Stone’s paranoia and irascible drill instructors. But it’s hard to forget about being soaked by twelve million gallons of dioxin ridden ‘Agent Orange’ or bombed by 388,000 tons of napalm’.[/b]

Headshot of John Kerry with the U.S. flag in t...

Which war was it you fought in John? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Pentagon confirmed that the Secretary of State (John Kerry) is: ‘…suffering from a dissociative fuge. And has been seen travelling the globe, unable to recall our nation’s past, twentieth century history or basic colour coding’. This selective amnesia happily includes the fact that since WW2 Yemen, Russia, Australia & Argentina have USED chemical weapons; Germany, Holland, U.K. and France have MADE them (for Iraq) and the U.S. has DROPPED more of them than any nation in history. ‘And when we’re not dropping them,’ explained the Pentagon spokesman. ‘We are absent-mindedly testing them on thousands of American military personnel, often without their knowledge. In the longer term we are hoping that their surprised faces will lead to an excellent bloopers reel for our end of year party.’

The United Nations have described Present Obama’s ‘ditzy routine’ as he forgets forty years of Da Nang birth defects as a ‘delightful homage to 1920’s vaudeville’. Although the Vietnam Association for Victims of Agent Orange may feel aggrieved that the U.S. and Dow Chemical share sovereign immunity to any lawsuit, at least Syrian combatants can now reclassify sarin gas as an ‘organic herbicide’ for tax purposes.

by @Wrenfoe


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This entry was posted on September 11, 2013 by in International News and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

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