Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

‘Newsbiscuit ‘not good enough’ to be banned’

Despite seven years of ill-considered wit, grammatical errors and excessive references to the Isle of Wight, Newsbiscuit.com has thoroughly failed to ‘offend anyone of importance’. While popular satirist Bassem Youssef has been suspended from the airwaves for lampooning the Egyptian military, the ‘wags’ of Newsbiscuit continue to churn out ‘half-arsed puns’ with impunity.

Map of the Isle of Wight, UK with the followin...

They just don’t care (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

‘It’s not that we haven’t tried,’ said one disillusioned writer. ‘I’ve mocked David Cameron, I’ve imitated Ed Miliband’s nasal twang and I’ve drawn an enormous c**k on Michael Gove’s forehead. It almost as if my seventeen years of accountancy in Basingstoke has failed to hone my comedic genius! I once wrote a damning but droll story about EU fisheries policy – it got 400 Facebook ‘likes’…unfortunately ninety percent of those were from me spam-clicking the page.’

Whilst Mr. Youssef achieved fame during the uprising against Mubarak’s rule, Newsbiscuit found infamy during a bitterly contested Women’s Institute regional election in Appuldurcombe. A spokesman for the Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, said: ‘Newswhat? Biscuitwho? I’m afraid Mr. Clegg just hasn’t heard of it. When it comes to jesting he’s a long time admirer of the mirth of Ben Elton, James Corden and Private Eye. Now that’s a satirical magazine! They once did this very humorous thing with this play on words, Eton rowing song and a split infinitive. Very clever. He knew it was funny the moment he didn’t understand it.’

Human rights activists have expressed concern that Newsbiscuit will continue its ‘whimsical bilge’ in the absence of an oppressive but thorough dictatorship. Rumours that John O’Farrell has been kidnapped by the ‘rock-people’ of Ventnor have been quickly dismissed. A spokesman for Amnesty: ‘Sometimes there’s a case for a little state censorship, imprisonment and torture. If anyone deserved the thumbscrews it’s them.’

by @Wrenfoe


(For those of you who don’t know, Newsbiscuit.com is a website I contribute to. So while this is a mean spirited story, it’s 100% accurate!)


3 comments on “‘Newsbiscuit ‘not good enough’ to be banned’

  1. Al O'Pecia
    November 6, 2013

    But it’s the complete lack of power without any chance of responsibility that makes it so compelling to write for.


  2. Wrenfoe
    November 6, 2013



  3. red bottom shoes
    May 9, 2014

    nice articles


Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 585 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 38,657 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: