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China sends first sex toy to the moon

The space race to bring the first astronaut to ‘mechanical orgasm’ has reached new levels of excitement. Launching their vibrating ‘Jade Rabbit’, China is hoping that the ‘first contact’ with alien life will be a sexual one.

Neil Armstrong, one of the first two men to la...

Are you ready for a moon probe? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Chang’e-3 mission to bring clitoral stimulation to the lunar surface, is the most significant step in space exploration since the USSR sent a monkey into space wearing a vibrating cockring. The Asian superpower hopes that this new technology will spur a generation of dildo shaped rockets.

The ergonomically designed ‘Rabbit’ can climb slopes of up to 30 degrees, while stimulating the nerves for a relaxing and pleasurable feeling. The vehicle’s ground-penetrating radar is designed to search the lunar soil for rare elements and evidence of the g-spot. With the long term goal of establishing a permanent Ann Summers on the Moon.

A spokesman for the Chinese Academy of Sciences said: ‘We are boldly going where no man has gone before and in doing so we hope to inspire the world. Who can forget Neil Armstrong’s infamous words? ‘One small step for man, one uncomfortable moment with anal beads’.’

by @Wrenfoe


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