Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Diving comes out as ‘fancy falling’


Journalists were left reeling from the revelation that many ordinary activities may be masquerading as Olympic sports. A spokesman for diving star Tom Daley said: ‘Recognition for gay and lesbian sexuality is one thing, but it’s much harder to admit that falling into water is a gravitational imperative not a skill’.

Tom Daley and Pete Waterfield

Geronimoooo! (Photo credit: iwillbehomesoon)

Up until now most divers have concealed their ‘performance enhancing use of gravity’ to assist in moving ‘downwards at velocity’ with no more than an ‘embellished belly flop’.  A spokesman for the Amateur Swimming Association, said: ‘To be the first sport to come out as less prestigious than first thought, is never easy. You can have all the rotation and kinaesthetic judgment you want, you are still essentially dropping lack a sack of potatoes while wearing speedos’.

Questions have now been raised about the legitimacy of other Olympic activities; Equestrian events have been labelled ‘lazy hurdles’, Beach Volleyball has been called ‘sandy porn’ and synchronized swimming is seen as ‘an elaborate cry for help’. However most sports fans were unsurprised by the announcement: ‘We’ve always known it was falling. In this day and age who cares? Who are we to judge? If a talking baboon can be Lord Mayor of London, why can’t we enjoy a bit of moist plummeting now and again?’

by @Wrenfoe

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on December 6, 2013 by in International Sport and tagged , , , , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 549 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 35,298 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: