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Syria to resettle Scottish refugees

As the prospect of Scottish Independence approaches, UN officials have warned of a ‘flood of dispossessed anglophiles’ pouring over Hadrian’s Wall in search of ‘tepid’ beer, cricketing ‘humiliation’ and a … Continue reading

January 31, 2014 · Leave a comment

Tarantino sues self for copying own misogynistic script

The legal team representing the Oscar-laden Director/Producer/12yr-old-stuck-in-a-man’s-body have uncovered a dozen scripts penned by a mysterious ‘Q.Tarantino c/o Beverly Hills ’ which bear a startling ‘resemblance’ to the latest screenplay … Continue reading

January 30, 2014 · Leave a comment

Chirping smoke alarm shortlisted for Brit Award

 What began a series of barely audible warning noises, has quickly become a front runner for the prestigious music prize. Having recently been painted black by its stylist, starred in an … Continue reading

January 29, 2014 · Leave a comment

Nazi hunters asked to pursue 80’s ‘bottom fondlers’

The Crown Prosecution Service has made a belated request of Kurt Schrimm and other prominent German lawyers, to turn their considerable talents to the capture of notorious posterior gropers. Rather … Continue reading

January 28, 2014 · Leave a comment

Lord Rennard fails to apologize for the execution of 11,000 Syrians

The ‘Geneva II’ peace conference has reached a stalemate as the Lib Dem Peer has refused to show any remorse for widespread torture and execution. Despite Lord Rennard never having … Continue reading

January 27, 2014 · Leave a comment

Flibbertigibbet Caption Competition: ‘You don’t have to be drunk to live in North Korea…but it helps’

You don’t have to be drunk to live in North Korea…but it helps (from DailyShowFanBoy) This month’s photo come courtesy of: AP reuters DATE: 25th Jan 2014 RUNNERS UP ‘Once … Continue reading

January 26, 2014 · Leave a comment

Bieber tipped to be Toronto’s new Mayor

Since twitter rumours began circulating in December that the ‘King of Teen-Pop’ would be ‘officially retiring’, Justin Bieber’s management team have made no effort to deny the political aspirations of … Continue reading

January 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

‘Innocent Face’ comes out of hiding

With the death of notoriously guilt-free yet stunningly litigious Lord McAlpine, the emoticon formally known as ‘the smug one’ has emerged from exile. Although Sally Bercow, Alan Davies and the … Continue reading

January 23, 2014 · Leave a comment

Banks turn to payday loans to fund bonuses

As austerity measures continue to pinch, the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) is concerned that shareholders may not approve a penurious 200% bonus for their frugal staff. Forced to choose … Continue reading

January 22, 2014 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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