Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

January Transfer Window sees a late bid for Amanda Knox


Italian football fans were delighted to see an audacious extradition offer being made for the American ‘off-the-shoulder striker’. The transfer deal is said to eclipse the $4m paid for Ms. Knox’s memoirs, although it is still subject to a full medical, confession and DNA swab.

Fans celebrate her 'capture'

Fans celebrate her ‘capture’

Nicknamed ‘Foxy Knoxy’ for her ‘mazey runs’ down the wing, ‘manipulation’ of the media and habit of ‘eating out’ of dustbins; she had initially assumed the late transfer request was just another one of Jose Mourinho’s mind games. However, Ms. Knox was said to be ‘sad and frightened’ that her contract to US Major League Soccer was ‘only a loan deal’. Meantime her former Italian boyfriend and co-murderer, Raffaele Sollecito, was said to prefer an immediate free-transfer to ‘anywhere over the Slovenian and Austrian border’.

Her agent would not confirm which Serie A club had obtained her services, but confided that it was a long terms deal stretching to at least ‘twenty years’. Ms. Knox admitted to having been tempted by the ‘opportunity’ to link up with Andy Carroll – through a last minute offer tabled by Sam Allardyce. However the West Ham deal was rejected in favour of a ‘small cell’, five-asides with the Polizia Penitenziaria and ‘all the potatoes she can peel’.

Like Paul Gascoigne before here, Ms. Knox is expected to excite Italian football fans with her tendency to ‘turn on the waterworks’. She has promised to arrive ‘kicking and screaming’, not unlike Mario Balotelli, and will do everything she can to avoid a last minute bid from Interpol or Harry Redknapp. As the transfer window closes and prison beckons, at least Ms. Knox can be assured of a warmer welcome than Marouane Fellaini at Man Utd.

by@Wrenfoe

facebook.com/FlibNews

2 comments on “January Transfer Window sees a late bid for Amanda Knox

  1. Sean Smithson
    February 3, 2014

    Easily your best of 2014 my friend.

  2. Wrenfoe
    February 3, 2014

    I may have peaked too early :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 470 other followers

Facebook Adoration

Blog Stats

  • 21,258 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Flib Zealots

Flib Favs

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Member of The Internet Defense League

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 470 other followers

%d bloggers like this: