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Argentina’s currency in crisis – Falklands braced for ‘scapegoating s*@t-storm’

As the peso sees its sharpest fall since 2002, economists and meteorologists are anticipating a ‘force 12 tempest’ to emanate from the mouth of President Cristina Kirchner. While Argentinean’s struggle with the news that their loose change is now worth more as scrap metal, Falklanders will have to contend with a ‘typhoon of jingoism’, a light shower of ‘UN posturing’ and accompanying gust of ‘bloviating’ hot air.

Ignore the inflation... LOOK AN ISLAND!

Ignore the inflation… LOOK AN ISLAND!

With inflation at 25% and thirteen pesos exchanging to one dollar, Buernos Aires officials have expressed relief that there is a huge schoal of ‘red-herrings’ a mere 946 miles off to the south. By coincidence, President Kirchner has always answered questions related to her wavering economy and accusations of personal corruption, while innocently garbed in an ‘I love the Malvinas’ tee-shirt.

Despite British sovereignty of the islands pre-dating the existence of Argentina as a country by a mere 120 years, it has not stopped the assertion that the South American republic has an historic claim to use the Falklands as a smoke screen. A spokesman for President Kirchner said: ‘The UK must reject its colonial past and embrace democracy. And when I say democracy, I don’t mean Falkland Islanders voting overwhelmingly for self-determination. Neither do I mean that kind of democracy that grants land and human rights to the indigenous Toba Qom communities in Argentina. I mean the kind of democracy pioneered by Margaret Thatcher – where an impoverished electorate gets palmed off with nationalistic fervour. Kind of like having your packed lunch stolen by Alex Salmond.’

by @Wrenfoe

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