Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Russell Brand’s plums soon to go on sale

Britain’s shoppers will soon be able to buy alongside anthocyanin-infused tomatoes,  the genetically-modified scrotum of our favourite lascivious tramp. Mr. Brand’s ‘swollen nuts’, with their distinctive purple bruising, will be available to view in all reputable groccers, broadsheets and public toilets.


Just don’t bite too hard on them

Years of ‘serial shagging’ have enabled Mr. Brand’s testes to boast similar vitamin profile to blueberries, cranberries or night with One Direction. The potential health benefits of Mr. Brand’s ‘spunk bunkers’ is unclear, but the wiry comedian recommends rubbing them over ‘every part’ of your body and inserting them in every orifice – ‘just to be on the safe side’.

The ‘plums’ are being preserved on ice at the John Innes Centre (Norwich) to ‘cool them down’ after a particularly ‘rigorous duvet session’ with the cast of Big Brother. A spokesman for the centre said: ‘We are confident these enriched Nads can improve the nutritional value of copulating with your average super model. Having been dipped in what Heat magazine described as ‘the finest vagina’s of the decade’, Mr. Brand’s genitals have been lovingly pickled.’

One shopper (a Ms. K. Perry of California) attested to their restorative powers: ‘I was languishing in the bottom half of the charts, until I supped upon these exquisite devil fruits. Now I’m getting number one after number one, although subsequently it’s been rather painful doing a number two.’

by @Wrenfoe


Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on February 7, 2014 by in UK Health and tagged , , , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,617 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,666 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: