The Truth about Goats
As part of a clever marketing campaign, EA Games have arranged for Michoacan police to gun down one of the ‘walking dead’ and part-time notorious criminal, ‘El Mas Loco’. Despite being pronounced deceased three years previously, Nazario Moreno (known as ‘the Craziest One’) had been deliberately un-living on a diet of cocaine, fresh brains and George A. Romero boxsets to maximise the impact of the release of this ‘most wanted’ piece of software.
According to the online magazine ‘PC Loner’, the product launch for this ‘first person shooter’ promised: ‘a synergy between the gritty realism of Grand Theft Auto, coupled with blowing the s@*t out of some undead motherf#$ers!’. The heady mix of kidnapping, torture and living death will be the closest gaming experience to 2010’s smash hit ‘Gitmo – Call of Duty’.
Regarded as the spiritual leader of the ‘Knights Templar’ cartel, Mr. Moreno first made his name in the PC community by portraying Super Mario’s methamphetamine addicted, cousin ‘Krazy 8’ Molina. While his hilarious ‘butchering’ antics were initially deemed too extreme for the children’s market, the character was later rebooted for the ‘Breaking Bad’ franchise and the ‘Charlie Sheen Bloopers Reel’. It is hoped that the combination of foreigners, zombies and drug trafficking will reach the top the PC market, while providing The Daily Mail with its ultimate nemesis.