Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

New Zealand to place Peter Jackson on new national flag


As a referendum approaches, a majority of New Zealanders have expressed a preference for removing the Union Jack from the corner of their flag and replacing it with ‘something involving a Hobbit.’ The current frontrunner is a depiction of the hirsute director lounging in a pair of sweatpants, while elf maidens coquettishly scratch at his groin, in search of nuts and berries.

Even the name Kiwi is soooo 19th century. From now on call us - the 'little people'

Even the name Kiwi is soooo 19th century. From now on call us – the ‘little people’

A spokesman for Prime Minister John Key explained: ‘We can’t ignore the fact that eighty per cent of our economy is now related to Lord of the Rings merchandise, Flight of the Concords CDs and dyspeptic sheep. Sir Peter Jackson is an iconic image of a modern New Zealand, sorely in need of good hair products’. Over the next three years, Kiwis will be offered an assortment of Jackson tableaux to chose from including ‘Jackson wrestling an Orc’, ‘Jackson suckling a Dwarf from the Iron Hills’ and a controversial ‘swimwear section’.

The current flag with its Southern Cross constellation is seen as a retro celebration of Jackson’s early work in the horror genre, but does not take into account his seventeen LOTR themed movies. Mr Key has expressed a fondness for the All Blacks’ flag but admitted that the ‘silver fern’ on black background would be far more ‘fetching’ if replaced by a ‘large glowing red eye’.

Military personnel who have fought under the existing flag are reluctant to change. A spokesman argued: ‘Would we have won two World Wars marching under the banner of some hairy guy from Wellington? Not that we are adverse to change. Have you thought about something tasteful involving Lucy Lawless, Anna Paquin and some sheep dip? What about a Crowded House album cover?’

 

by @Wrenfoe

facebook.com/FlibNews

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 558 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 36,490 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: