Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Bitcoins to be replaced with Lego


As the MtGox Exchange files for bankruptcy, virtual investors have been frantically looking for an alternative currency that could provide the twin qualities of stability and an ever present threat to bare feet. Naturally the interlocking plastic brick has been identified as an ideal replacement; offering both colour, durability and a perpetual ‘choking hazard’.

£223.72 in loose change

£223.72 in loose change

Since the Danes started manufacturing Lego in the 1950s, this colourful toy has managed to retain its value while other currencies have succumbed to inflation. With around 560 billion parts produced, there should be no problems maintaining cash flow to meet monetary demand. One city analyst explained: ‘Virtual currency is all very well but the public want something they can hold in their hand – or ideally turn into a miniature car with wings…with some guns! Some six year olds may be sitting on a fortune. And we advise all savers to dismantle their vacuum cleaner.’

The failure of the Bitcoin has led many to question the ephemeral nature of wealth and reconsider ‘some sort of barter system’ involving wooden beads. Post 1963 Lego pieces have been manufactured from resilient acrylonitrile butadiene styrene, whereas Bitcoins have been made solely of ‘dreams’, ‘rainbows’ and the ‘abstract scent of Scarlett Johansson’s pullover’. The analyst continued: ‘What this will do to the average pay-packet is unsure – but the average wallet will look decidedly lumpy. However, who doesn’t want their money on display in the form of a life-size Millennium Falcon?’

International traders admit that some Lego ‘will get lost behind the sofa’, but it will still be substantially less than the 744,000 bitcoins (£210m) ‘mislaid’ by MtGox. Lego have already confirmed that their six themed amusement parks will be transformed into High Street banks. While the Scotland’s President-in-waiting, Alex Salmond, has expressed a preference for a currency union involving tartan themed Duplo.

by @Wrenfoe

facebook.com/FlibNews

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on April 1, 2014 by in International Business and tagged , , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 557 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 36,276 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: