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Damien Hirst’s autobiography will be ‘ironically’ full of spelling errors

To the equal delight of the art world and the frustration of most rationale print lovers, the notorious Turner Prize winner proposes to ‘redefine’ what we a perceive to be a ‘well written book’. Changes in font size, incomplete sentences and a cover-face smeared in formaldehyde, are among some of the ‘challenging’ aspects of Hirst’s book, which one publisher described as ‘being beaten around the head with a diamond encrusted skull’.

Can't be worse than Dan Brown's last book

Can’t be worse than Dan Brown’s last book

As the UK’s most successful living artist with an estimated worth £200+m, Mr Hirst promises to draw ‘no distinction’ between the words there/their/they’re. A spokesman explained that: ‘…the artist intends to deconstruct the concept of a book by offering a series of papyrus sheets, stapled together in manuscript form and entitled ‘Wankstain: In perpetual Motion’. It’s all about the affect..effect…affect?…impact of the art’.

Like his artwork, Hirst’s autobiography will be ghost-written by a ‘factory’ of assistants, all plagiarising from a series of ‘author self-help guides’ Hirst found in a junkshop in the 80s. Collector Charles Saatchi was the first to applaud the artists bold move, a spokesman said: ‘When Damien dangles participles, swaps commas for apostrophes and uses the c-word, he’s saying something about the state of modern Britain. He’s a conceptual writer not an actual speller per se. Scraping a grade E at Art A-Level, was just his way of proving you don’t need to be able to write to pass exams.’


by @Wrenfoe


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This entry was posted on April 14, 2014 by in UK Arts and tagged , , , , , , .

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