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The Truth about Goats

Kate Middleton ‘smells of cabbage’

Former News of the World (NoW) editors justified their hacking of the now-Duchess of Cambridge’s voicemail, by uncovering the scandalous way in which celebrities purport to be ‘Mary Poppins-perfect’. Solely … Continue reading

May 30, 2014 · Leave a comment

Olivia Colman secretly eats her BAFTA awards

The independent charity that supports, develops and promotes the art forms of the moving image was marred with controversy this year, with the revelation that certain recipients of the award … Continue reading

May 29, 2014 · Leave a comment

Catching your penis in your zipper helps put UKIP result in perspective

Medical and political experts are advising the British public to trap their genitals in a vice-like device, to enable ‘a measured response’ to Nigel Farage’s poll success. While many in … Continue reading

May 28, 2014 · Leave a comment

Google can no longer remember Belgium

Over the next few days Internet experts hope to gauge the extent of the data loss by cross-referencing ‘disastrous colonial policies’ with coquettish photos of Audrey Hepburn. Since the European … Continue reading

May 27, 2014 · Leave a comment

Thai military to also offer mail-order bridal service

As the army take control of Thailand’s government, martial law is set to extend to marital law – less of a coup more of a ‘Cooeee!’. With lady-boys in combat … Continue reading

May 26, 2014 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: BAFTAs’ attempt to cover up poor attendance were beginning to become obvious

 “BAFTAs’ attempt to cover up poor attendance were beginning to become obvious” (from Al OPecia) This month’s photo come courtesy of: BBC.com DATE: 24th May 2014 RUNNERS UP: Woman in love with … Continue reading

May 25, 2014 · 4 Comments

The end of the Universe simulated in George Osborne’s head

While scientists at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have computer generated the evolution of the Universe, George Osborne’s ‘vacuous noggin’ has managed replicate the precise terminus of life as we … Continue reading

May 23, 2014 · Leave a comment

Boko Haram react angrily to Man City forgetting their birthday

Despite having never played professional football or having any direct ties with the Premiership champions, the Nigerian Islamic group has embarked on a disproportionate reign terror in reaction to what … Continue reading

May 22, 2014 · Leave a comment

Police search for child who drew on Harry Styles

Law enforcement agencies are on alert for the perpetrator of multiple acts of vandalism upon a much loved British landmark and source of teenage fantasy. Reports have emerged that Harry … Continue reading

May 21, 2014 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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