Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

The end of the Universe simulated in George Osborne’s head

While scientists at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have computer generated the evolution of the Universe, George Osborne’s ‘vacuous noggin’ has managed replicate the precise terminus of life as we know it. By following through to the logical conclusion of Coalition economic policy, the Chancellor is able to accurately predict the ensuing violence, social unrest and Zombie apocalypse to come.


As we get sucked into the void at least we'll have avoided joining the Euro

As we get sucked into the void at least we’ll have avoided joining the Euro

So empty is Mr. Osborne’s cranium, that it absorbs all light, hope and evidence of tax evasion. Although MIT’s model shows how galaxies formed around clumps of dark matter, Osborne’s simulation shows how the Tory manifesto forms around ‘clumps of s@*t’. Physicists still refer to a mysterious force called ‘dark energy’ but Cabinet colleagues simply call it ‘Michael Gove’.


An international team of researchers hope to use Mr. Osborne’s hollow braincase to simulate zero-gravity, the atmosphere of a Miranda Hart studio audience and a rudimentary maraca. A similar experiment was undertaken last year to replicate the origin of life involving a petri dish, twelve feet of industrial hose and the scrapings from Boris Johnson’s underwear. A spokesman for MIT’s Dr Mark Vogelsberger admitted: ‘Re-creating the Big Bang is one thing, but Mr. Osborne’s thought process brings new meaning to word fatalism. While nature abhors a vacuum, I’m pretty sure she also has a strong dislike for George’.


by @Wrenfoe


Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,430 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 43,569 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2019

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: