The Truth about Goats
To packed conference in California, Google co-founder, Sergey Brin revealed plans to manufacture a vehicle that will allow BBC presenters to focus less on steering and more on ‘pejorative terms for Asians’. The driverless experience is perfect for any passenger who likes to disassociate from their environment; in the same manner that Richard Hammond might disengage his mouth from his brain when talking about Mexicans.
The Top Gear trio will now be able to take their awkward anecdotes about German people onto the road, without having to worry about the cumbersome task of ‘being racist while parallel parking’. Google promises to make the electric car affordable for all viewers who are concerned about immigration, foreign-sounding cars and whether the Stig is Polish.
A recent survey by British Social Attitudes found 30% of people described themselves as prejudiced or ‘a little bit Clarkson’. The biggest rise in racist attitudes was among educated male professionals – or ‘boy racers’ as they are known. Statistics suggest that since 2001 Britain has become less socially liberal and more interested in the comparative speeds of a Reasonably Priced Car.
Jeremy Clarkson has expressed some concern that self-drive technology will ‘take the skill out’ of being prejudiced while at the same time accruing a multi-million pound salary at the tax-payers expense. A spokesman for Top Gear said: ‘Google are demystifying the role of the racist. With the aid of lasers, radar sensors and a Sat-Nav that uses the N-word, this car is going to give the impression that anyone can do it. People need to realise that Jeremy, Richard and James took years to perfect their unpleasantness. You still require human input to be an a*@ehole’.