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Israel sends ‘peacekeepers’ to Ferguson, Missouri


After decades of military support from the US, the Israeli Government has said it is now their turn to reciprocate; by bringing ‘…peace, prosperity and a lot of rocket fire’ to the residents of Ferguson. Some local civil rights leaders have questioned Israeli credentials in terms of resolving racial conflict, but Hamas officials have endorsed them as ‘…a world leader in shooting unarmed citizens’.

Tanks for the memories

Tanks for the memories

The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) has offered to send the 401st Ikvot HaBarzel Armored Brigade to help ease tensions after the killing of Michael Brown, with their own brand of ‘…armoured love’. A police spokesman said: ‘We have been accused of being heavy-handed, but we are hoping that our Israeli counterparts can completely redefine the phrase’.

An IDF soldier said: ‘While the White House has halted our latest request for Hellfire missiles, we are still grateful to Pentagon for providing us with weapons shipments throughout the Gaza conflict. In the United States own hour of need, it’s that kind of commitment to peace that we must not forget. It’s no coincidence that launching aid packages sounds awfully like something a missile would do’.

Meanwhile in Ferguson a second man was shot on Tuesday after brandishing a knife at police officers. It is hoped that Colonel Saar Tzur can calm things with his fleet of Chariot-4 tanks, their Armored Shield Protection-Active Trophy missile defense system and the ‘…best bagels this side of New York’. A UN observer commented: ‘The last thing we want is a ceasefire breaking out and disrupting this fragile peace…between shootings.’

by @Wrenfoe

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