The Truth about Goats
Over the last three decades many Scots visited England as aid workers or to see John Robertson’s penalty ‘trounce the Sassenachs in 81’; but were never to return. Amnesty International estimate that a significant number of these were held against their will by the confusion between English and Scots banknotes.
To their shame – some Scottish families admit that radicalized teenagers have purposely travelled south to join the English or ‘…get bladdered at Glastonbury’. In fact many Scottish spinsters admit to being suspicious about reports of male hostages ‘valiantly resisting forced marriages’ to their captors, given the steep rise in ‘English gingers’
With close to a million Scottish hostages the English hold a significant bargaining chip in getting what they want – ‘Season Two of Taggart’, the intellectual rights to the song ‘Mull of Kintyre’ and use of the word ‘minging’. Meanwhile SNP leader, Alex Salmond, has not ruled out rescue options but admitted that there was ‘no desire’ to liberate Alan Cumming.