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White House to erect a second fence to protect the Obama’s allotment

With anti-vegetable sentiment in the US reaching crisis point, the Secret Service has taken the unprecedented step of erecting a protective barrier between public and the First Lady’s ‘prize-winning turnip’. This temporary buffer zone is designed to ward off meat loving extremists, while providing a safe haven for Presidential marrows, spuds and ‘…any buried WMDs’.

All the Bush family could manage was an unimpressive rock garden

All the Bush family could manage was an unimpressive rock garden

In 2009 Michelle Obama joined students from Bancroft Elementary School in creating the ‘White House Kitchen Garden’, but has since dug up most of the grounds. What started as a small organic garden on the South Lawn, has now swelled so much that the plot has literally ‘thickened’. Like most allotments, the Obama’s also found their fair share of old bones, broken glass and shredded audio tapes belonging to an ‘R.Nixon’.
An unnamed federal law enforcement official claimed: ‘There is a very real fear that a Vegilante could break into the President’s potting shed and play havoc with his seedlings. The main wrought-iron barrier is an insufficient deterrent to a crazed intruder, intent on rearranging Mrs Obama’s squashes’.
Pennsylvania Avenue has been closed to vehicular traffic since 1995, but now has been supplemented by extra police patrols, surveillance and one threadbare scare-crow. One officer commented: ‘On the off chance that a member of the public may have lost the plot and tries to scale the fence, we don’t want to lose the plot. Plot…get it? You see what I did there? Plot and plot. Clever, huh? And if an intruder damaged the Obama’s garden, the plot would sicken. See, I did it again. Oh, come on – these are great puns – give peas a chance, folks’.


by @Wrenfoe

7 comments on “White House to erect a second fence to protect the Obama’s allotment

  1. grwalker6
    October 10, 2014

    I like ‘vegilante’


  2. graphicmatrix
    October 11, 2014

    lol lol lol lol


  3. Wrenfoe
    October 12, 2014

    It’s not the Red menace we should be worried about, it’s the Green…


    • R Wood
      October 12, 2014

      I’m sure that Mrs Obama’s turnip would make a great stew!


  4. Wrenfoe
    October 12, 2014



    • R Wood
      October 12, 2014

      Quite! I’ve obviously no idea about Mrs Obama’s/”first lady’s” culinary proclivities but I’m sure she has access to recipe books. I’d suggest roasting her “prize-winning” turnip but that’s probably just me.


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This entry was posted on October 10, 2014 by in International Environmental and tagged , , , , , , .

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