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Shia LaBeouf to have his head surgically removed from his arse for next role

While many might balk at Mr. LaBeouf’s ‘Method’ approach to acting, others have applauded his decision to remove the swelling ego that had nestled in his ‘rectum-like cavity’. Not only does his professional commitment extend to mutilating his face and teeth for the war movie ‘Fury’; he has also agreed to remove imagination from creation, artistry from art and the word ‘wan@er’ from his forehead.

Anyone can lose a tooth. It doesn't mean you get an Oscar.

Anyone can lose a tooth. It doesn’t mean you get an Oscar.

Having graduated from the prestigious acting academy – known as the Disney Channel – Mr  LaBeouf has already wowed audiences with his sensitive portrayal of an animated penguin in ‘Surf’s Up’. Such challenging roles have set him apart from other actors of his generation; who refuse to do ‘…tricks for pilchards’. The actor’s agent shrugged off accusations of LaBeouf’s plagiarism and disorderly conduct; claiming he was: ‘…blurring the lines between performance, life and nicking other people’s ideas’.

One fan said: ‘Wearing a paper bag over his head at the Berlin Film Festival was either LaBeouf’s sophisticated commentary on media and celebrity OR it was covering up the fact he’d done something daft to his face. As we all know – talent is like oil – if you want to release your creative juices you need to whittle away at your noggin with a knife. Which is why Gorden Ramsey is such a great cook’.

Not all critics have been enamoured with his efforts; labelling his participation in the ‘Indiana Jones’ franchise as ‘…less plausible than Sean Connery’s American accent’. Yet he was confounded his critics with his pivotal role in the sequel to Oliver Stone’s ‘Wall Street – Money Never Sleeps…but the audience will’. One Film Reviewer said: ‘LaBeouf’s name is synonymous with a large slab of meat.  Who can forget his role of Sam Witwicky in Transformers? Not since David Hasselhoff has an actor made robot cars seem more emotionally engaging than their human counterpart’.

by @Wrenfoe


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This entry was posted on October 21, 2014 by in International Arts and tagged , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

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