The Truth about Goats
Despite security forces unearthing 28 corpses near Iguala, south of Mexico City, DNA tests prove conclusively that it is ‘…someone else’s problem’. Law enforcement officials breathed a collective sigh of relief, as they had previously been criticised for their policy of being: ‘Tough on drugs. Tough on those who deal in drugs. And tougher on those who attend teacher training college’.
Now that it is clear that these bodies are not left-wing students, Mexicans can get back to their day to day routine of stepping over murder victims and turning a blind eye to extrajudicial executions. Equally so, the US Congress can continue to provide billions of dollars of military aid, safe in the knowledge that these weapons are almost certainly being used to repress innocent people; just not ones in possession of an NUS discount card.
A police spokesman spoke of his relief: ‘Phew! For a moment there, we were genuinely worried that this might be the 43 students we had illegally detained. Instead, we are happy to announce, that it is just a load of bog standard unidentified corpses – probably killed as a result of our phoney war on drugs. I guess we dodged a bullet on this one…which is more than those poor chumps can say’.
Meanwhile Amnesty International has suggested that it is the very presence of mass graves that should be the issue, not who the occupants are. However, the spokesman countered: ‘It’s a cultural misunderstanding. It’s customary practise for us to keep dead people in pits. It saves on space. It’s as commonplace as sombreros, bandanas or Top Gear making gross generalizations about our national dress.’