The Truth about Goats
UK authorities, having channelled its military resources into combating the threat of BBC sitcoms, have announced a significant victory against the threat of canned laughter. While killer diseases reach pandemic proportions, at least TV viewers can now sit safely in their own home, free from the fear of mind numbing slapstick routines; the sort that make ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’ look like comedy gold.
In the last few years ‘Miranda’ drew huge audiences; or ‘victims’ as they are referred to by the World Health Organisation (WHO). A spokesman warned: ‘Those who think they have been infected by Miranda should stay quarantined for up to 24 hours and avoid any contact with their family, any family…but more specifically Robert Lindsey’s My Family’.
A Foreign Office spokesman said: ‘The War on Unfunny still rages around the world. We must not forget the plight of those in the third world, many of whom are still watching re-runs of Joanie loves Chachi’. One BBC executive admitted: ‘ISIS, Ebola – these are threats to our lives, but Miranda represents a clear and present danger to comedy as we know it’.
In other news, President Obama has had no problems assembling a ‘collation of the willing’ for his mission to drone strike James Cordon’s agent.