Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

George Osborne declares himself half-man half-prophet half-mathematical genius

Twenty four million UK tax payers are being sent, by the Treasury, a breakdown of Government spending – which has all the transparency of a Conservative Donor list. With the integrity of a dingo in a crèche, George Osborne has innocently offered this information to prove that ‘…Magna Carta was the last budget report that made any sense’.

This one can spell BOOBS

This one can spell BOOBS

Through an act of ‘creative accounting’ the Chancellor has managed to illustrate that no one north of the Watford gap has contributed anything to the nation’s taxes since 1215.  An elaborate pie chat of public finances, shows that 24.5% of all welfare spending goes to ‘…one tenement building in Manchester’.

At the same time, a report from London’s Centre for Research of Migration suggests that immigrants have added £4.96bn to the economy in the last three years. While a scrawled post-it from Mr. Osborne makes the counter claim that migrants have stolen ‘…two thirds of Dover’s cliffs’. This plethora of dubious numbers is said to be a harbinger of further spending cuts, a restriction of EU movement and an attempt to ‘get everyone in Scotland to work for free’.

To make matters worse for the Chancellor a recent Employment Tribunal has backed worker’s rights for overtime pay. A Treasury spokesman: ‘If you look carefully at this Venn diagram of the nation’s wealth, you can see this big money circle around the richest 1% and the poorest 55% just outside of the circle. That’s because poor people smell. They just smell. Can’t be helped. They just do’.

by @Wrenfoe


2 comments on “George Osborne declares himself half-man half-prophet half-mathematical genius

  1. graphicmatrix
    November 12, 2014

    Well now I know we are not alone in the USA. govt transparency is an oxymoron. even on the most basic, lowest level of government (city councils) In the USA it is impossible to get the truth about how money is spent without a manipulation of the facts.


  2. Wrenfoe
    November 12, 2014

    But you at least have Las Vegas to get you used to the idea of being fleeced 😀


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on November 12, 2014 by in UK Business and tagged , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 570 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 37,678 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: