Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Rise in orphans linked to Theresa May’s dream of casting ‘Annie’


With the number of children living in temporary accommodation at a three-year high, it has become self-evident that the Home Secretary is socially engineering a nation of plucky, red-haired waifs. Spurred on by her love of Musical Theatre Theresa May has promised a lovable scamp on every street corner, an ‘Oliver’ look-alike in every Christmas stocking and a ‘hard knock’ existence for every immigrant.

Welcome Home

Welcome Home

More than 90,000 children are being deliberately schooled in how to befriend stray dogs and eccentric billionaires. One theatre critic commented: ‘Mrs. May intends on putting a Broadway production in every town. How else can you explain the Home Office spending all its energy on bogus Wars on Terror and Drugs, while real children are suffering?’

Meanwhile Liberal Democrat MP Norman Baker has resigned as a minister; claiming he cannot back Mrs May’s unrelenting commitment to the Tony Award winning Musical. With the equivalent of three children in every school being homeless, he is not convinced that for them the ‘sun will come out tomorrow.’

Even homeless families attest to being forced into unsafe accommodation where children eat meals on the floor, suffer panic attacks and bed wet. A Home Office spokeswoman confirmed: ‘This is all great character research. We encourage our homeless children to use a Stanislavski acting system and then channel that energy into West End auditions’. Although the Conservatives refused to confirm that the role of an irritating ragamuffin, oblivious to an economic depression and with uncontrollable hair is based on Boris Johnson.

by @Wrenfoe

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on November 14, 2014 by in UK News and tagged , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 548 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 34,928 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: