The Truth about Goats
Style and body conscious men have been united in their support of David Beckham™’s new Haig Club whisky advert. Not only does it open the door for the metro-sexual male to binge drink, but he can now have ‘a good scratch’ under his H&M underwear. Most can live the Beckham lifestyle intoxicated in front of the TV, reeking of Homme, safe in the knowledge that they are utterly desirable.
Eye-wateringly tight boxer shorts will now get that little bit more snug as a whiskey belly pops over the rim. Unfortunately wives and girlfriends have been slightly more reticent about this image change. One partner commented: ‘I’m not sure lying in a pool of your own vomit, boxers wedged up your arse crack can be described as personal grooming’.
The advert, directed by Guy Ritchie, features Beckham lurching around the Scottish Highlands ‘stinking drunk’. He then says something unintelligible in his North London accent, before stripping down to his underwear and falling in a ditch. The only problem with this iconic image, is that it might infringe on copyright owned by Rab C Nesbitt.
One man explained: ‘I wasn’t excited by the effort involved in gaining a Beckham six-pack but I’m happy to imitate his drinking habits and clothing range. Two out of three ain’t bad’. Asked what other changes he would be willing to make, he said he would draw the line at covering his body in tattoos, as that would be ‘…gilding the lily’.