Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Miliband declares victory in US Midterms‏

Much to the surprise and delight of the Labour faithful, their leader announced sweeping gains in the US Senate. Despite being separated by a political ideology and 3000 miles of Atlantic Ocean, Ed Miliband was able to take the credit for the Republican Party’s recent success and for becoming the first British female solo artist to have five number one singles in the UK.

Born winner

Born winner

With an equal sense of euphoria and denial, Mr. Miliband told a packed room of supporters that the he was a ‘winner’; referencing his Champions League medal and the hat-trick he scored against Atlético Madrid in May. Promising a rout of the Conservatives in the next General Election, Mr. Miliband wowed party activists with a photo montage of him curing Ebola, battling IS and sorting out Man Utd’s defensive problems.

Previous Labour Leaders Blair and Kinnock have all offered their support to the beleaguered Mr. Miliband; including a flak jacket, advice on early retirement and the phone number of a really good psychoanalyst. To his doubters a spokesman for Mr. Miliband said: ‘Stare into his eyes. Not the one on the left. It’s slightly crossed. Yes, that’s it. You are feeling sleepy. And nauseous. But mainly sleepy. Ed is the man. Repeat after me. Ed is the man. No! Not Ed IS a man. Ed is THE man!’

As yet the US press has been strangely reticent in reporting Mr. Miliband’s Midterm triumph. One reporter commented: ‘Arkansas, Colorado, Iowa…I don’t remember a Mr. Miliband on the campaign trail. Socially awkward, you say? Looks kinda weird? Are you sure you don’t mean Mitch Mcconnell?’ Meanwhile voters were reassured that the only things standing in the way of future Labour victory – were hubris, electoral maths and Mr. Miliband’s pulse.

by @Wrenfoe


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on November 19, 2014 by in UK Politics and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 570 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 37,678 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: