Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

We now only trust animals to sell us stuff‏


Sociologists and Advertising Executives have reached the conclusion that the general public has become so jaded and cynical, that only ‘woodland folk’ can reach our hearts and pockets. Be it a John Lewis Penguin, Southern Electric’s Orang-utan or George Osborne’s Tapeworm; British consumers are only swayed by the reassuring presence of an innocent animal endorsing a Machiavellian range of services.

squirrel

Buy the iPhone6!

There is nothing new to this as a marketing device; Skippy the Kangaroo was used to promote asbestos during the 60s, Lassie smoked Marlboro cigarettes and Mister Ed sold stationery products – only to be ironically melted down into pritt stick when he retired. Of course sometimes cartoon animals were used for cynical ends, best illustrated by Mickey Mouse’s complicit role in the rise of the Third Reich.

One marketing specialist reminisced: ‘The 60s was a golden age of advertising. Who could forget Flipper Friendly Tuna Chunks, Winnie the Pooh suppositories and Trigger the Horse’s range of Viagra pills. But today we don’t just want animals with human personalities, we want real critters with real feelings. Which is why we have selected the shark to advertise banking. And any new initiatives in the War on Terror will be presented to the UN Security Council by a loveable Koala Bear’.

While the Andrex puppy, the Dulux dog and the Myxomatosis Bunny may be old news, there promises to be a new generation of anthropomorphised animals. The wider irony is that some of the products they support are actually contributing to the species extinction. Meer Kats are blissfully unaware that 34% of Russian Meer Kats die in uninsured car accidents every year. Mainly because their feet can’t reach the pedals.

by @Wrenfoe

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8 comments on “We now only trust animals to sell us stuff‏

  1. Maharg Smith
    November 27, 2014

    It has caused me great concern that the meercat manor meercats have a paucity of material possesions wheras the Insurance meercats are positively dribbling in bling.

    • Wrenfoe
      November 27, 2014

      lol

    • R Wood
      November 27, 2014

      In much the same as Woodland rabbits have to burrow themselves wheras ‘pet’ rabbits have everything done for them.

  2. Wrenfoe
    November 27, 2014

    Pet rabbits – the ultimate benefits scroungers

    • R Wood
      November 27, 2014

      I’ve heard it said they take lettuce in to their ‘work capability assessment’ interviews.

  3. Wrenfoe
    November 27, 2014

    Ha!

  4. Inchcock
    November 29, 2014

    Osborne could use a snake in his election campaign? Most suitable!

  5. Wrenfoe
    November 29, 2014

    😀

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This entry was posted on November 27, 2014 by in UK Business and tagged , , , , , .

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