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Time travellers plan to kill Hitler for being a bad artist


As Hitler’s ‘Altes Rathaus’ is sold for $161,000 at a Nuremberg auction, many amateur scientists have promised to invent time travel for the sole purpose of murdering the Führer before he can instigate decades of bland watercolours. While World War II and the holocaust might be reason enough to assassinate Hitler, many claim that the greater threat to humanity is his insipid landscapes, bowls of fruit and wonky paintings of Munich architecture.

Very GCSE Art

Very GCSE Art

So naff is the daubing of Herr Hitler, that many have likened it to ‘Dogs playing Poker’, a kindergarten collage and the person who did Harry Styles’ tattoos. One art critic explained: ‘It’s interesting, usually Godwin’s Rule of Nazi Analogies means that it is a gross exaggeration to compare bad art to Nazi Germany. However, in this case the analogy works in reverse. Here we are obliged to compare bad Nazi art with modern day atrocities. I’d say Altes Rathaus is on par with all 11 series of My Family’.

Some Hitler apologists argue his art is misunderstood, while some UKIP councillors have claimed that Hitler was never a painter in the first place and that his watercolours were something made up by Israelis. Ultimately Hitler’s own failure to become a student at the Vienna Academy, is testament to the Conservative Party’s view that studying art is a waste of time and that teenagers can make a much greater impact in the real world.

Many budding scientists are now working feverishly into the night, in their potting sheds, intent on trashing awful art or at least eradicating art students who wear too much eyeliner. Of course this plan is not without its problems; any time paradox could result in distressed butterflies, killing your own grandfather or Brian Sewell becoming leader of the Third Reich. The irony is that many would prefer for purity’s sake for Hitler’s artwork to be painted over with a pot of Dulux white.

by @Wrenfoe

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This entry was posted on December 5, 2014 by in International Arts and tagged , , , , , .

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