The Truth about Goats
Recep Tayyip Erdogan has made a bold claim that not all State Leaders are elected equally. Gesturing to his own $350 million (€270 million) Presidential residence, Mr. Erdogan made it clear that he deserved the same rights as any working mother; the type of mother that needs around the clock bodyguards, membership of NATO and one thousand bedrooms ‘- for nick nacks and shoes’.
Mr. Erdogan admitted that a woman’s needs may not be proportionate to their male counterparts, but his needs as a President eclipsed that of his rivals. Speaking to supporters, Mr. Erdogan assured them that no ordinary leader could have achieved 51.79% of the vote in 2014 without fraud, ballot paper theft and ‘-threatening voters with a cattle prod’. He went on to explain that he could not be held to the same standard as other Presidents because of ‘-his wide child bearing hips’.
A spokesman for the President explained: ‘Some are dictators are delicate flowers, who need to be cherished. Some like medals and tanks. This President likes media intimidation, internet bans and anything pink. Yes, he fakes the odd coup, but that’s his way of getting in touch with his feelings’.
Mr. Erdogan’s authoritarianism style is certainly at odds with many European leaders, but he is consistent in being inconsistent in the way he treats other people. The spokesman said: ’If you’re a woman, an atheist or someone with a mid-sized mansion you may think that the President squanders public money. And you’d be right. But Mr. Erdogan knows that building a big f**k off palace is the only way to get Kevin McCloud to take notice’.