Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Turkish President claims not all Presidents are equal


Recep Tayyip Erdogan has made a bold claim that not all State Leaders are elected equally. Gesturing to his own $350 million (€270 million) Presidential residence, Mr. Erdogan made it clear that he deserved the same rights as any working mother; the type of mother that needs around the clock bodyguards, membership of NATO and one thousand bedrooms ‘- for nick nacks and shoes’.

He may not be your cup of tea but he does have an awfully big army

He may not be your cup of tea but he does have an awfully big army

Mr. Erdogan admitted that a woman’s needs may not be proportionate to their male counterparts, but his needs as a President eclipsed that of his rivals. Speaking to supporters, Mr. Erdogan assured them that no ordinary leader could have achieved 51.79% of the vote in 2014 without fraud, ballot paper theft and ‘-threatening voters with a cattle prod’. He went on to explain that he could not be held to the same standard as other Presidents because of ‘-his wide child bearing hips’.

A spokesman for the President explained: ‘Some are dictators are delicate flowers, who need to be cherished. Some like medals and tanks. This President likes media intimidation, internet bans and anything pink. Yes, he fakes the odd coup, but that’s his way of getting in touch with his feelings’.

Mr. Erdogan’s authoritarianism style is certainly at odds with many European leaders, but he is consistent in being inconsistent in the way he treats other people. The spokesman said: ’If you’re a woman, an atheist or someone with a mid-sized mansion you may think that the President squanders public money. And you’d be right. But Mr. Erdogan knows that building a big f**k off palace is the only way to get Kevin McCloud to take notice’.

by Wrenfoe

Advertisements

5 comments on “Turkish President claims not all Presidents are equal

  1. R Wood
    December 8, 2014

    I feel so inadequate. I live in a one-bedroom ground-floor flat especially adapted for the disabled; but I have no body guards or ‘kick-ass’ army. I’m clearly a waste of space.

  2. Wrenfoe
    December 8, 2014

    You just need to be more ambitious when you apply for planning permission

  3. R Wood
    December 8, 2014

    I’ll bear that in mind. I have a small amount of ‘green space’ outside the flat; army on the left, adult social servuces on the right, neighbours in the middle. I already feel like a ‘kick-ass’ dictator!

  4. Wrenfoe
    December 8, 2014

    lol

  5. R Wood
    December 8, 2014

    ‘services’ not “servuces”. My sub-editorial skills have gone the same way as my neurones. Of course, I only have my neurologist’s wordz 4 dat.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on December 8, 2014 by in International News and tagged , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 540 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 34,044 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: