The Truth about Goats
Be it a cheating partner or a shifty Uncle who knows how to get you broadband on the cheap, most of us are now living with an unscrupulous character, forever looking for life’s cheat code. Department of Health officials say survival rates for cancer are at an all-time high, while your bank balance surviving a dubious ‘get-rich’ scheme of your brother-in-law’s is almost zero.
There are various virulent strains of chancer from politicians to business leaders, often lying dormant until your pin number becomes available. Much has be done in recent years to raise the profile of the Breast Chancer, personified by Dave Lee Travis, who will ‘grab a handful’ at the first opportunity. While only a deep rectal probe will reveal the biggest chancer of them all, the George Osborne pyramid scheme.
The NHS website offers this advice: ‘If you or someone you know is living with a chancer, you should check to see if you are covered by insurance. Going for regular check-ups with HM Revenue and Customs will hopefully reveal fraudulent love ones. And if someone says something that sounds too good to be true, they’re probably Nigel Farrage’.
Tragically chancers can also strike the very young, as the high teenage pregnancy rates will attest. For many, spotting a chancer may be too late and they ignore the growing sense they may have been duped. One doctor said: ‘If your 30 year old son still lives at home. He may be a chancer. If your builder ignores load bearing lintels. Chancer. If you are hoping a sex scandal doesn’t ruin holidays at Balmoral. You’re fifth in line to the throne’.