The Truth about Goats
While many of us, fattened like the long departed turkey, cast aspersions over the imaginative gifts we received; one corner of the world would be grateful for any present. Syrian refuges scattered along numerous borders are starting to feel as forgotten as a New Year’s resolution, the tinsel fragment on the celling or the true meaning behind the John Lewis advert.
Shovelling snow from his tent, one refugee commented: ‘Yup, thanks for the gift of war, famine and persecution…but we’d have preferred a chocolate orange. This all feels a lot less like an Arab Spring, more like a Norwegian Permafrost’. UN aid workers have suggested we send our unwanted gifts to war torn areas, although advised against the practical uses of jigsaw puzzles, cans of fake snow or box sets of Miranda.
Even rigorous games of charades have done little to counter the freezing temperatures that have hit the Middle East. One disillusioned refugee replied: ‘Everyone’s talking about North Korea and a naff comedy movie or fundamentalists and a naff cartoon, but nobody remembers there are 10 million of us shivering…and it’s not very funny either’.
The Red Cross has warned that unless oil or weapons of mass destruction are found in the region, the international community is unlikely to take much notice. A UN official said: ‘People are literally freezing to death in Lebanon, but please spare a thought for Mr. R. Dawes of Cirencester. Poor Mr. Dawes was sent not one but three matching sets of pyjamas. Worse still, none of them were wrapped with their Marks & Spencer receipt’.