The Truth about Goats
Hacking into the US military’s Centcom account, hackers working for IS have sent a clear message to the world that ‘Harry Styles is lush’. Using social media, the terrorist organisation has spelt out their commitment to a Middle Eastern caliphate, a continued reign of violence and ‘the spamming of lol catz’.
Some extremists have questioned whether hacking a twitter account will have the same impact as a suicide bombing. An IS spokesman responded on YouTube by saying: ‘Speak to the hand. Western civilization just cannot be happy for our success. As ICE T says, don’t hate tha player, hate the game. Word.’
Strutting in a rather conceited manner, the IS spokesman confirmed: ‘Democracy is like, totes lame’ he said as he rolled his eyes to camera. ‘I can’t help it if I’m popular’. Meanwhile the Centcom twitter feed has become inundated with declarations that ‘jihadists are soooo…’ followed by a range of overly enunciated positive adjectives.
An embarrassed Pentagon spokesman admitted: ‘We would like to make it clear that we in no way endorse recent tweets about thigh gaps, Starbucks and Justin Bieber’s tushy’. In turn, IS was quick to dismiss claims that they were an extremist group devoid of humour; they tweeted: ‘On Wednesdays we wear pink!’