The Truth about Goats
In a surprise u-turn, The Sun newspaper has renewed its commitment to publishing salacious images; including Tony Blair and George W. Bush in a series of compromising positions with Weapons of Mass Destruction. One Editor explained: ‘Figuratively speaking Blair and Bush were the biggest pair of tits we could find’.
Several media outlets were premature in reporting demise of Page 3. In fact, the text of the Chilcot Inquiry could prove to be more controversial than semi-naked torsos. One Diplomat commented: ‘British Intelligence with their pants down may not have the phwoar factor, but it will certainly be seen as a booby trap’.
Many fear that the delay in releasing the Chilcot Report, into the 2003 Iraq War, was due to concerns that people would objectify Tony Blair. A spokesman for the ex-Prime Minister said: ‘Mr. Blair is more than just a tremendous boob. He needs to be respected as a person and not just seen as someone suffering from mammary lapse’.
MPs from all parties have demanded immediate access to Tony Blair’s ‘baby pillows’. A spokesman for the Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, said: ‘In the interests of transparency it’s only right we get a look at the good stuff. Sir John Chilcot can’t keep those apple dumplings to himself’. Meanwhile anti-topless campaigners have said: ‘…featuring Tony Blair is explicit enough in a tabloid paper, but we draw the line at Bush’.