The Truth about Goats
As the north-east US shuts down in anticipation of 30 inches of snow, many were left surprised that the UK’s national infrastructure was also disrupted by an unseasonal breeze, three drops of rain and an overly snug duvet moment. While New Yorkers contend with an historic blizzard, people in the UK have a comparable life and death struggle every morning with burnt toast, ill matching socks and ‘ a shower dial that won’t stay on six’.
Naturally some US citizens feel that their British cousins are big ‘Sissy Marys’. One UK commuter rebuffed the accusation: ‘It’s all very well New Yorkers guarding against frostbite by using dead seal skin as a fetid insulating wet-suit. Here in Britain I once had to wait at a railway station for at least an extra twenty minutes before finding a connecting service to Clapham Junction’.
Meanwhile in the US, roads have closed, flights have been cancelled and school children have remained glued to their PlayStation. Winter Storm Juno threatens to cause days of chaos; much in the same way that ‘leaves on the line’ in Britain caused the Dissolution of the Monasteries in 1536.
One British driver explained: ‘Having read about the horrors of the Battle of the Somme and seen footage of the London Blitz, I can honestly say that none of it compares to the London to Waterloo buffet service. New York may look like a big snow cone, but it’s definitely a bit chilly here, and I for one are planning to stay in bed’.