Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Michelangelo sculptures ‘may be of Dr. Christian Jessen’


Cambridge University experts have not only attributed two obscure bronze sculptures to the renown Renaissance genius, but have identified the muscular figures as being based on the star of C4’s Embarrassing Bodies. Quite how Michelangelo was able to visualize Dr. Christian four hundred years ago is unclear; yet there can only be one man that ripped, with a PhD and a capacity to bench-press while commenting on your vulva.

Dr. Chris on a cold day

Dr. Chris on a cold day

Sitting astride a panther, the Michelangelo Jessen is the embodiment of ‘terribilità’ – a sense of awe-inspiring grandeur or ‘anabolic steroids’ as we call them today. Previously attributed to a Dutch sculptor, these two figures will go on show in the Fitzwilliam Museum, next to sculptures of an ingrowing toenail, nose polyps and an ‘outie’ belly button.

Interestingly this has opened a debate on whether the Sistine Chapel ceiling is merely a homage to various case studies from Embarrassing Bodies. One academic confirmed: ‘If you look carefully at the roof you can see that Noah has hairy moobs, Eve has strectch marks and God is trying to wipe some kind of genital fungus on Adam’s hand’.

The startlingly resemblance between a bronzed exhibitionist and these statues is uncanny. Both are naked, muscular and with an untameable beast between their thighs. Each have stomach muscles that resemble a hernia farm. Indeed, some art experts suggest that Dr. Jessen may have also been the subject of Michelangelo’s ‘David in tight jeans’.

by @Wrenfoe

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on February 9, 2015 by in International Arts and tagged , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 540 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 34,054 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: