The Truth about Goats
Striking a blow in the War on Paradox, the Arab Kingdom has retaliated over the death of a Jordanian pilot at the hands of the Islamic State (IS). Without a hint of irony, the Western media have applauded their tough stance against state-sanctioned murder. One journalist observed: ‘It’s only through measured contrariness, that we can defeat those that threaten our freedoms. And what better way to preserve freedom and justice than by repealing freedom and justice?’
Having executed two convicted jihadists, Jordanian officials fully expect IS to see the error of their ways and that violence is not the answer. A spokesman explained: ‘Yes, we still torture those who defame our state with impunity. But we’re the good guys. IS want to undermine our liberties with the use of terror. But what if we undermine them first? Oh yes, double-bluff. The old switcheroo!’
Fortunately the United Nations has offered a clear message condemning IS: ‘It is unacceptable for people to be executed and footage to be uploaded on to YouTube. Everyone knows you are going to get jumpy framerates, poor image quality and unfavourable comments. IS will never be a civilised society until they can kill people in HD surround sound’.
Some have been concerned that the UN is squabbling over the methodology of murder, as opposed to actually objecting to killing. A Pentagon spokeswoman remarked: ‘There is a big difference between civilised nations employing torture, assassination and indiscriminate bombing and barbarous groups like IS. For a start, we are so much better at it’.