The Truth about Goats
In a move set to excite Heston Blumenthal, the House of Commons has passed a motion in support of a succulent triple infant feast. Although fertility campaigners have complained that MPs have completely misunderstood a Bill aimed at combating genetic diseases; law makers have countered by claiming that this is an important leap forward in science, fine dining and ‘covering babies in breadcrumbs’.
After the debate, MPs were given a free vote, as it was an issue of conscience and hunger…mainly hunger. One gluttonous Member of Parliament commented: ‘Some may suggest that stuffing one baby inside the gastric passage of another is unnecessarily cruel. But think of the taste. Sometimes in order to create a mouth-watering feast you need break a few eggs. Two to be precise. Oh, and some sperm.’
No longer will Christmas have a monopoly on strange ballotines, as the three baby roast will be available in most major supermarkets. This layered dish will be suitable for braising, grilling and cutting down on your child care costs. Obviously it is not to mistaken for the Cameron/Miliband/Clegg election debate, or ‘Idiot Three-way’ as it is known.
However, some have expressed concern that this might open the floodgates to further genetic modifications. To which a spokesman for the Prime Minister replied: ‘It’s not true that we are trying to create a nation of obese children, solely for Ministers to feed on their tender flesh. Although we admit that a coach load of nursery children went missing after visiting Eric Pickles’.