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Zayn quits 1D in protest over Clarkson


Pre-pubescent girls around the globe were left reeling from the double disappointment of their two favourite pin-ups leaving to pursue solo projects. Zayn and Clarkson have been long time admirers … Continue reading

March 31, 2015 · Leave a comment

Police search continues for the most ‘meaningless’ election issue


Officers have issued another request for any information pertaining to the whereabouts of the UK’s 2015 General Election. Meanwhile police have been dredging canals for anything that could be construed … Continue reading

March 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘I’ve pissed my pants, someone fetch Matron…’


WINNER: ‘I’ve pissed my pants, someone fetch Matron…’ (from Paul Nichol)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE:28th March 2015 RUNNERS UP: ‘And this is where I’ll be spawning’ (from … Continue reading

March 29, 2015 · 1 Comment

Millions watch racist MEP totally ‘eclipse’ racist Party Leader


School children, wearing protective goggles, were treated to the rare glimpse of Nigel Farage’s face been obscured in tabloid papers by reports of a fraudulent UKIP colleague, Janice Atkinson. The … Continue reading

March 26, 2015 · Leave a comment

War in Middle East great idea says forgetful Vatican


Surprisingly, even after a thousand years of bloody crusades, the Papacy looks keen to get all ‘old school’ in spreading love throughout Iraq and Syria. A spokesman for Archbishop Silvano … Continue reading

March 25, 2015 · 4 Comments

NHS ‘almost killed’ Farage – Doctors promise to ‘try harder’ next time


Further evidence has emerged of public health-care under-funding, as the NHS is failing to meet its target for killing off elderly racists. Doctors were forced apologise for the oversight and … Continue reading

March 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

Tony Blair to become the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse


The US, EU, UN, Russia and anyone with a pulse, have all agreed that the ex-Prime Minister has ‘exhausted’ all the potential irony in being described as a ‘Peace Envoy’ … Continue reading

March 23, 2015 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Members of the Ku Klux Kreche in sit down protest as they notice their hoods are different colours.


WINNER: “It’s diversity by stealth!” Members of the Ku Klux Kreche in sit down protest as they notice their hoods are different colours. (from nathanjchapman) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com … Continue reading

March 22, 2015 · 4 Comments

First penis transplant, as Clarkson moves to SKY


Rumours are abound that the curmudgeonly Top Gear presenter has deliberated struck his co-employee to contrive a more lucrative TV contract elsewhere. SKY satellite engineers will work around the clock to … Continue reading

March 19, 2015 · Leave a comment

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