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Greece applies for a student loan


Greek Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis fears that an EU bailout extension may not cover the cost of his dream to study Media at university. Although his country’s debt is running at 175% of GDP, a spokesman for Mr Varoufakis said he is also keen to fund three years of film watching, the opportunity to swim in a fountain and to put ‘a traffic cone on local statue’.

Media Studies was all on VHS when Mr Yanis Varoufakis first studied

Media Studies was all on VHS when Mr Yanis Varoufakis first studied

The key advantage of transforming the borrowed €240bn into a student maintenance loan, is that Greece will not need to repay anything until they earn over £21,000 a year; and by Mr Varoufakis’ own admission – ‘that’s never going to happen’. The other benefit is to allow Mr Varoufakis to return to academia and fulfil is ambition to stage a production of ‘HMS Pinafore’ for the Drama Society.

Obviously a student loan does not rule out the possibility of Greece defaulting on their debts but it does ensure they stay in the EU, if only to take advantage of the student eurorail pass. Ultimately Mr Varoufakis hopes that German Finance Ministers will adopt a more flexible approach and ‘agree to star in his end of year film project’

A spokesman for Mr Varoufakis made it clear that he had no plans to squander the loan on a frivolous Gap Year, but would use the money wisely to go ‘crazy-nuts during Fresher’s Week’. He also reminded the press that going down the student route should make Greece: ‘eligible for all manner of online discounts, 2 for 1 pints at the Student Union and help them to live on a diet of just baked beans’

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7 comments on “Greece applies for a student loan

  1. James Patrick Casey
    March 2, 2015

    Superb.

  2. Wrenfoe
    March 2, 2015

    Ta 😀

  3. reframes
    March 2, 2015

    Depends on whose law applies. Student loans in the US have been engineered so even if you declared bankruptcy, you still can’t escape paying them off.
    In US terms I would recommend they turn Greece into a corporation. If you’re big enough (ie too big to fail), you can go broke and demand a bailout, or you bring down the whole financial system.

  4. Wrenfoe
    March 2, 2015

    Cunning!!!

    • reframes
      March 2, 2015

      This is exactly the position Greece is in, right? You just have to know what to call yourself. From deadbeat to entrepreneur with a stoke of the pen.

  5. Wrenfoe
    March 2, 2015

    Although I don’t think you can make a Media degree sound any better by changing its name 😀

    • reframes
      March 3, 2015

      Why not? It’s all about smoke and mirrors.
      The essenece of finance.

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This entry was posted on March 2, 2015 by in International Business and tagged , , , , , .

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