The Truth about Goats
On LBC Talk Radio, the Green Party’s leader unveiled the full spectrum of her Force Powers that she will be using during the election campaign. Waving her hand in front of interviewer Nick Ferrari, Mrs Bennett erased all memory of her policies, her credibility and the whereabouts of two droids.
The non-violent manipulation of sentient beings has always been the trademark of Jedi’s and Green Party candidates. A sound engineer at LBC attested to seeing Mrs Bennett unsuccessfully attempt to ‘levitate’ the portly Mr. Ferrari. Although, the Green Leader refused to be drawn to the Dark Side and use Force Choke against Mr. Ferrari, despite an 8,000 signature petition.
For how long Natalie Bennett has been hiding her powers from the electorate is unclear, yet she has long enthralled voters with her one-handed hand stand and her Jedi mullet. Unfortunately many in the press are saying her radio interview was the most awkward Green Party utterance since David Icke declared himself the ‘Son of the Godhead…and friend of Frank Bough’.
A Green Party representative admitted: ‘To a lead a political party, memory is not the main asset. Primarily you need to look good in a bath robe. The Jedi way is the Green Way. After all, Yoda is just a talking Brussel Sprout’.