The Truth about Goats
A furious David Cameron responded to rumours that yet another political party had refused to rule out a post-election pact with the Scottish Nationalists. In turn, Nigeria’s militant terrorist group released an audio statement saying they would enter into a coalition with any extremist organisation but ‘drew the line’ at UKIP.
While Boko Haram is primarily focused on establishing a ‘caliphate’, they suggested that this was an obvious route to an independent Scotland. Having already sworn fealty to the Islamic State, a spokesman said it was a natural progression to embrace tartan burkas, halal shortbread and an unswerving loyalty to the Prophet Salmond.
As yet the SNP has refused to be drawn on the issue of ‘votes for confidence’ or whether William Wallace would have favoured a manifesto beheadings pledge. For the Conservatives this is another blow to them establishing their own minority caliphate and, unlike Boko Haram, they favoured the abduction of schoolgirls within an academy system.
Meanwhile a spokesman for Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, said: ‘We will support any group that accepts our mission statement to end all Western education. But since Michael Gove is no longer Secretary of State, the Conservatives can no longer rely on our votes’.