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Clarkson petition proves that half a million people want to punch a co-worker

Sociologists have revised their initial interpretation of the groundswell of support for David Cameron’s favourite ‘designated driver’, Mr Clarkson. Recent research suggests those signing to keep his wine-ravaged face on terrestrial TV were in fact endorsing a return to physical violence, sexual intimidation and wearing jeans in the work place.

You know, when you've been Clarksoned

You know, when you’ve been Clarksoned

When questioned, one responder explained: ‘There’s this guy in Accounts I’ve been itching to whallop. He keeps putting these passive aggressive post-it notes on his lunch box. He deserves a slapping.’ While Clarkson himself is alleged to have hit a Producer, but only under pretext that ‘he looked a bit foreign’, ‘dressed like a hippy’ and that the act would likely lead to a lucrative new contract with Sky TV.

Unfortunately given the size of Top Gear’s worldwide audience, support for Clarkson as a percentage is significantly less than the online petition to get Boris Johnson to wrestle a badger. One BMW owner commented: ‘Clarkson was striking a blow for striking a blow. I’m just surprised he didn’t take a pop at Richard Hammond when he had the chance.’

by @Wrenfoe


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This entry was posted on March 17, 2015 by in UK Entertainment and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

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