The Truth about Goats
Sociologists have revised their initial interpretation of the groundswell of support for David Cameron’s favourite ‘designated driver’, Mr Clarkson. Recent research suggests those signing to keep his wine-ravaged face on terrestrial TV were in fact endorsing a return to physical violence, sexual intimidation and wearing jeans in the work place.
When questioned, one responder explained: ‘There’s this guy in Accounts I’ve been itching to whallop. He keeps putting these passive aggressive post-it notes on his lunch box. He deserves a slapping.’ While Clarkson himself is alleged to have hit a Producer, but only under pretext that ‘he looked a bit foreign’, ‘dressed like a hippy’ and that the act would likely lead to a lucrative new contract with Sky TV.
Unfortunately given the size of Top Gear’s worldwide audience, support for Clarkson as a percentage is significantly less than the online petition to get Boris Johnson to wrestle a badger. One BMW owner commented: ‘Clarkson was striking a blow for striking a blow. I’m just surprised he didn’t take a pop at Richard Hammond when he had the chance.’