Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Tony Blair to become the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse


The US, EU, UN, Russia and anyone with a pulse, have all agreed that the ex-Prime Minister has ‘exhausted’ all the potential irony in being described as a ‘Peace Envoy’ and should now focus on job role for which he is better suited. Following on from Conquest, War, Famine and Death, Mr. Blair will now represent the final sign of impending doom; that of a ‘Patronizing Git’.

The scrawny Dove of Peace

The scrawny Dove of Peace

Blair himself is said to have welcomed the new role and admitted that his skeletal grin will help him to fit right in. In fact, one Bible scholar explained that his coming had been foretold; ‘And lo, I looked and beheld a white horse. And upon that horse, sat a smug, warmongering arsehole.’

There was some heated debate as to which name the ‘harbringer Blair’ should go by and thanks to Jeremy Clarkson, most epithets were already taken.  Although having overseen £2.7bn of failed investment in bringing peace to the Palestinian territories, most agree that Blair’s name is mainly associated with mud.

Political analysts agree that ‘reconfiguring’ Blair has to be more effective than re-booting ‘The Wicker Man’ with Nicholas Cage. A spokesman for Mr. Blair said: ‘Having cured cancer, world hunger and now peace – it was only a matter of time until Tony turned his mind to a more substantial challenge. Bringing about the end of the world will be tricky but he has already made a head start and it can’t be harder than reforming the Labour Party.’

by @Wrenfoe

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on March 23, 2015 by in International News and tagged , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 540 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 34,044 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: