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Hard Working Families to be given extra votes


Now that the entire General Election revolves around glowing generalities, a cross-party committee of MPs has agreed that greater representation should be given to positive, abstract concepts. So with the … Continue reading

April 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

Tories threaten to finish what they started‏


Buoyed by an endorsement from representatives of 5,000 small businesses, the Conservative Party has pledged to put a ‘food bank on every street corner’. Not content with four years of … Continue reading

April 29, 2015 · Leave a comment

Wikipedia reveals Grant Shapps as the next Spiderman


Despite denying his involvement in secretly altering Wikipedia, the Conservative Party chairman has struggled to explain some of the more hyperbolic entries on his biography. Not only is he attributed … Continue reading

April 28, 2015 · 2 Comments

Roy Keane denies his rage is just restricted to roads


The former Manchester United enforcer, has entered a plea of ‘not guilty’ to threatening behaviour ‘just in areas of tarmac’. The hearing at Trafford Magistrates’ Court, saw graphic photographs of … Continue reading

April 27, 2015 · 2 Comments

Caption Competition: ‘Some of that tea is foreign. I can smell it.’


WINNER: ‘Some of that tea is foreign. I can smell it.’ (from R Wood)   This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 25th April 2015 RUNNERS UP: ‘No beer?’ … Continue reading

April 26, 2015 · 4 Comments

Miliband to help exploited workers, starting with himself


As one of his key election promises, Ed Miliband intends to crackdown on the abuse of low-skilled Labour Leaders. A task force will be established to find out why Mr. … Continue reading

April 23, 2015 · Leave a comment

B and Q to close 60 ‘argument-zones’


Kingfisher, parent company of B&Q and the ironically titled ‘Screwfix’, has announced it plans to phase out some of its least ‘martially fractious’ stores. Executives admitted that certain regional outlets … Continue reading

April 22, 2015 · 2 Comments

Nick Clegg launches sinister dating site: ‘Salmond, Farage or Me’


In attempt to help voters lose their lunch, the Lib Dems have promoted their answer to C4’s ‘The Undateables’. Offering a stark choice of sexual extremes, Nick Clegg has positioned … Continue reading

April 21, 2015 · Leave a comment

Want a 12yr holiday? Then get your child into their first-choice primary school.


With summer fast approaching, hard-working parents are looking for a family-friendly budget vacation. Well, look no further.  Thanks to the nurturing powers of the school system, you can entrust a … Continue reading

April 20, 2015 · Leave a comment

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